He fidgeted sadly, bothered by all the sounds that echoed.  Shamira was resting on the floor at his side, her ears lowered as much as possible, annoyed by all the noise as well.

His uncle was leaning against an old boat, cleaning its hull, his stern eyes focused entirely on the task. Fishing tools were scattered all around.

The shop was always open. Yet he was never allowed to partake in its business. Not anymore at least.

Matthew sighed, eyeing it all tiredly while he fumbled with a can near him. His mind was still torn for what he saw, and the reprimand he got when he returned home. He lived alone, and yet… he was there, waiting for him.

Ethan was not pleased to find he had been walking at the beach again. He did not like him near water, but he would have been more or less fine with it, knowing it helped. What angered him was the fact that he had been near that area, those black rocks. Those missed calls were telling enough.

He couldn’t lie even if his life depended on it, Ethan saw right through him. Were not for the fact he was overprotective now, he would have yelled at him.

Matthew sat there on the floor, leaning onto his unused Vespa; it was never driven, not anymore. And so, it was always there, between boats that needed a checkup.

He stared with envy at the cockatiel sitting near his uncle. The parrot was nudging things from time to time closer to Ethan, when needed. Kalani was allowed to work in some way, even if he was a rescue who had gotten his wings clipped. The animal was more useful than him now.

That did not mean his uncle hated him. No, on the contrary. Below all that muscle and tall gruffness, there was a hidden love that barely anyone could see. Ethan was just deadly afraid. He was the one to get him that job in the fishing ship. Little did he know that he would lose a limb, almost drown.

He blamed himself, so he wanted to keep him away from everything harmful. Both had already felt loss, they only had each other. And so, he was doing everything in his hand to keep him safe.

But it was just not helping. It depressed him. The lack of achievement, the constant reminders that he had to wait, take care of his problem, be told that it was an accident… That it was all just in his head.

It was making him go crazy. And now, it was worse. He had been eerily emotionless since he saw those beings again, yesterday; he still was questioning it. He couldn’t stop thinking.

“Ethan?”

The man seemed to move faintly, only slightly.  He always had the stance of a huge statue, his moves always deliberate. He only let out a grumble to answer his call. Matthew frowned, a minute of silence passing before he dared try again.

“I’ve been thinking.” He always did. “I- I have been near the sea, you know, strolling calmly, a-and… I watched some documentaries-“

Ethan let out a silent sigh, finally turning to face him. His gruff voice was caring but firm.

“Get to the point. No rambles, I have to get this boat ready today.”

Matthew nodded nervously, ruffling his brown hair while looking away.

“It’s just-” He let it out, as subtly as he could. “There are so many areas of the sea that are unexplored. There are huge gaps, which we can’t know how deep they are. We know more about space than the deepest ocean. And I wondered if… How many creatures could be there, undiscovered? Fish? Or… M-maybe, even m-mer-“

He was cut off with another grunt. Ethan turned away, looming over the boat once more. Only Kalani and Shamira seemed to pay attention to his words, even if they could not understand them much.

“Matthew, you have to stop watching those silly documentaries on Yougurt-“

“Youtube, Ethan. It’s not called-“

“Whatever it’s called.” Matthew blew some air out with a frustrated frown, Ethan going at it again, making his big chain necklace rustle as he finally showed more emotion. “After what happened, the last thing you need is to fill your head with things related to water.”

Matthew groaned silently, raising his knees up, laying his chin on them with an exasperated look. Much like Ethan, he could growl.

“We live in a cay, for crying out loud…”

“So what?”

Matthew wanted to throw something at Ethan. His head was so thick he would not notice for sure. Instead, he simply scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“We kind of live surrounded by water!” He waved his hand, rambling. “I can’t ignore it, not with it being everywhere! It’s fucking everywhere! Our town survives thanks to it! Most of the jobs are at the docks, most people deal with it. Hell, you run a fishing shop; you must go down there often to deliver tools and boat scraps! Almost every single damn thing in this cay involves the fucking sea! Food? Fish! Touristic matters? The northern beach! I can see the docks just by looking out the window! If I want to work again someday, I should confront-!“

“You can’t. It terrifies you.”

Matthew shut up, heaving; Ethan let down a fact angrily, without second thoughts. Kalani and Shamira whined. The parrot moved away from the tall buff man, who turned around again, eyes deadly serious. He decided to scold his only relative, for his own good.

“Don’t you raise your voice, Matthew. Not when I can see the anxiety in your eyes, how torn that night left you. You are angry about it; you say you want to deal with it… But in the moment of truth, you still doubt, you have nightmares, you are disheartened. You can’t lay a foot on a single wave without breaking down.” He pulled at his long blond plait in impotence, his voice growing quieter as his gaze softened. “You have to stop worrying for a while that you must do things and just let others help you. You can’t just force things like that. It has not been that long since the accident. Stop treating the sea like an enemy you must find or confront; just ignore it, for now. It’s there, indeed. Just let it be. It does not have to concern you. You don’t need to fix something that you don’t have to.”

Ethan’s eyes fixed on his for a while, trying to make the point clear, almost daring him to speak against it. So Matthew closed his eyes and bowed his head tiredly, just dropping the matter. Not that his uncle would fight him angrily. He never would. But he was tired of trying to speak up under their blind care.

Ethan sighed, turning away again, as exasperated as him. There would have been silence, if not for the noise that came from that rusty boat. And the small taps on the floor. Shamira barked silently, letting her head go down to the ground, for Kalani to near. She let out a breath that made the parrot chirp. But after a minute of staring, those wings flapped.

Matthew blinked, seeing Shamira stand towards him, only to sit at his side. His hazel eyes filled with slight amusement, because Kalani was on her snout, both animals looking up at him worriedly. Their tails swayed, hearing him let out a small chuckle, his voice gaining a trace of joy, even if faint.

“Fine, come here, you cute…”

Kalani let out a pleased chirp, Matthew’s arm lifting to let him jump onto it. He smiled, sitting there, letting the bird climb onto his shoulder. His hand began to pet him calmly while Shamira plopped to sleep.

His eyes closed too, a calm expression now on his face. Yet he was anything but calm inside. He still could see sharp eyes. Different shades.

———-

Bright eyes. That was what he saw. But there was no sight of those bright eyes in the waves now.

His short hair flowed back as he stood there, not moving an inch while the wind brushed him. His eyes were not looking away from the water ahead.

Shamira was growing tired of pacing on the same spot, so she looked back at him with a small bark. However, Matthew did not acknowledge her. The sun was rising over them. He spent all morning there, searching. Still, he could not see any trace. The waves kept breaking without a single reflection, nothing he could find in them. There was nothing in the vast blue ahead, nothing he could discern.

Those hazel eyes blinked, looking down slowly. Shamira was now at his side, pawing at his black pants, whining. Something he did not even notice at first. She knew what roamed in his mind.

The brunet glared one last time, to then bolt for the stairs, leaving. He finally acknowledged that no good was coming from standing there for hours. He gave his back to the waves, hiding his angry tears. Which were seen.

Two azure eyes finally rose above the surface in the far distance. Her sharp gaze was able to see his face clearly. She swam silently, watching while the human left, his sorrow evident. She could only wonder. Like another one did, even if less caringly.

His silver eyes watched below, through the depths. He was curious too, having seen the tears as well. But his heart was set; and so, his eyes narrowed, still wary.

—————

“How are you doing this week?”

Matthew looked down at his hand, his fingers curling onto his knee. Jason looked at him intently, while he could only fidget on the chair.

“I… Don’t know.”

Jason let go of Shamira’s fur. The dog huffed in disappointment, sad to not be petted, loving her owner’s praise. Right now, he could only stare at Matthew, calmly. He noted mentally the dark circles, the lack of sleep.

“You don’t know?” Jason gave him a look, his eyes narrowing. “There must be something you can tell me so I know how to proceed.”

Shamira whined, bowing her snout down when Jason gave her a questioning raise of eyebrow.

“Has she not been of help lately? She could forget her role if you give her too many treats or-“

“No.” Matthew shook his head, the other relaxing and leaning on the desk between them. “Shamira has helped, Jay. She did wake me from a nightmare.”

Jason leaned closer, voice as thoughtful as always.

“Nightmares again.” The doctor brushed his chin in thought, his long ginger hair hiding his eyes while he leaned his head. “I guess the huge storm from the other day must have something to do about it. Are they recurrent?”

Matthew seemed to doubt. There was only one nightmare at night. He was not so sure how many while he was awake.

“I- I have had more than one.” He finally dared to meet Jason’s eyes, speaking tiredly, explaining with resignation. “I’m feeling like… like I’m seeing it again. I have had these moments when I can swear I’m seeing what I saw that night. All over again, maybe even different. And it feels so real I can’t avoid swearing it is. Just when I felt I was getting better, this damn storm comes and I just…”

Matthew hunched over, breathing unevenly while Jason stood slowly, pondering carefully.

There were books all around, relating to psychology, medicine and all anthropological needs. Jason was the only doctor in the small town, educated in every subject.

There were not only medical books in the office. Matthew frowned when Jason took a big book and left it open on the desk. Then, he turned it so it faced him, for him to see clearly.

His voice was kind, explanative; his finger brushed the page, which entranced those lost hazel eyes.

“People have always needed answers.” Matthew trembled, because the open pages of the book displayed a mermaid: long red hair, bright scales. She was luring fishermen with a song. “When strange things happen, men always create wonders to try to give them a reason. Why does the sun go up? Why diseases take away our loved ones? Science did not answer all that in the past, so we did, or at least tried to. Why do sailors disappear in the sea?”

Matthew flinched, for Jason spoke firmly, saying the word that made him doubt so much.

“This, is a mermaid, a creature born from our words, tales, imagination and wonder for the waters. A creature that exists in our minds. Its reason for being? Filling gaps in our stories. Mythology. We reach for those tales when needed. Your mind could not understand what was happening at that moment. It needed something to answer the pain, the shock; something that would give a meaning to it. You could not accept a simple accident.”

Jason closed the book, seeing how Matthew’s eyes fill with fear. His breathing was fast, and he was trying to contain it in vain. So words were let out calmly, to try to help him.

“You are not crazy, Matthew.” The young man looked up, holding himself in doubt. “We all need answers. All our minds have a way to give them. Those creatures exist in our heads. Like many other things, like spirits, godly miracles, or monsters. It can feel real for anyone. But they are only ghostly thoughts.”

Jason sat again, sighing. Matthew was nodding, yet he did not seem to feel much better. His eyes were staring at the closed book, gaze lost. He listened intently to the same words, again.

“We will reduce the number of painkillers, as much as you think you need them. They might be too many at the moment.” Phantom pains still came at night. “And I hope Shamira stops you from taking too much at once.”

He could only nod, not bothering to try and explain how real it felt. He felt sick, in more than one way.

————–

Dark clouds loomed. He took a deep breath, taking it all in. His eyes looked up, not flinching as the first drop of rain fell onto his cheek, mixing with his tears.

It was raining. Yet he did not show any concern or worry for the fact. After a few seconds, he lowered his head, his hand clenching. His eyes were aflame while he pierced the water with his gaze. He was shaking slightly, due to the cold wing that flowed.

It was no storm, but it felt fitting. For days he returned to the coast. For days he tried to see again. He had even dared to near those sharp rocks again… Yet he saw nothing.

Nothing!

Matthew trembled, almost stumbling as he approached the waves. He wanted to near them, yet he found himself halting upon them, not daring to touch them.

The fear gripped him again, even when he could not see anything lurking. There was nothing there. Not that he could see. Nothing would drag him down to drown; nothing would pierce him with sharp fangs. But somehow, he could only stare, wish he saw again.

There was rain. He should at least imagine a small glimpse, perhaps feel there was something. Something, anything…

Am I not crazy? Dreaming?!

He raised his hand to his hair, bowing his head down painfully while his fingers tangled.

A trembling angry sob escaped him. He only heard his own echo when he finally screamed.

“Why?!” He glared, whipping his head up in a loud snarl, fist going down as he leaned closer. “Why must I be played with?! Why don’t you show yourselves now that I want you to?!”

It was not fair. He had accepted that it had only been a nightmare, only for him to experience another vivid delusion. He had done nothing for the world to fuck with him, make him go mad. It was a constant drag and pull, which was tearing his mind apart.

He stood there, crying, waiting for something to happen. He would have even welcomed those fangs, if only to stop feeling so paranoid and lost. There were only waves breaking inches away from him.

He sobbed again, closing his eyes. A huff escaped him as his knees hit the sand, not having the strength to keep on standing. He did not seek any answers as he cursed.

“…Fuck.” A whispered curse, muffled by the sound of rain and waves. “I hate you so much.”

He loathed the sea, with all his heart. It took everything from him, and then it mocked him. It left him broken. It was toying with him, the waves not even needing to brush him to do so; his own body and mind could do that, all by themselves.

He sat there, curling his arm around himself while he trembled, not moving away from the rain. There was no dog to pull him away. She was locked in his room, for trying to keep him from going out so late in the day.

He could not take it anymore. And so, he slowly let himself go down, without opening his eyes. Tears still fell, however, because he could hear the waves near him.

The moon was rising. He knew. And it did not matter, he couldn’t care anymore. He finally broke.

Sharp eyes watched in disbelief as the human let himself lay on the sand ahead. He dropped as if he had run for miles.

Iara swam in nervous circles, having watched him stand there for a long while; she heard him scream.

Now, all was silent. The rain was fading. But there was no sound of steps.

“What is he doing?”

Alon floated behind her with his arms crossed, head bowed down with narrowed eyes. He answered her worried question with apprehensive coldness.

“I don’t know.”

The merman could see the sorrow, and it confused him. He still couldn’t understand. There had not been a single boat looking for them, there were no human gatherings. Nothing had been done.

There was only that brunet, stubbornly coming back to the beach each day. Every day looking more torn.

They both swam there, pondering for a while. In the end, Iara could only put a hand over her mouth, suddenly having a horrifying thought.

Alon blinked, seeing her tail kick down, her figure going up for the surface, both having been near the bottom.

“Iara?!”

She ignored his confused call. She surfaced and leaned herself onto some rocks out of water, still far from the beach.

Being seen was the least of her concerns. Her suspicions were confirmed. It had been a while since the human screamed angrily.

She could only shake her head, seeing him there, laid on the shore, the waves now brushing his legs. Yet he was not moving. His eyes were closed; his chest was rising and falling slowly. He had fallen asleep.

“W-what… What is this fool doing?”

Her azure eyes narrowed. She sat there, her gray tail shedding small reflections below the moon. The night had just begun, and the tides were rising with every second.

Dread gripped her, all her life knowing what the moon brought. She knew. The fact was more clear these days, having seen Alon suffer it.

The water levels would rise. Fear tore her inside out, her tail trembling as she saw the waves now brush just over his waist. He still was not moving.

“I-idiot!”

Alon had been afraid of breaking the surface. But with her not returning, he worried. He forced himself to swim up. Just when his head came out, she jumped down the rocks into the water.

“Iara!”

He dived again slightly, his eyes widening when he saw her swim for the sand.

Iara was not swimming too fast, calculating. She was pondering how to tackle the situation. But one thing was clear; she had to make the human move, perhaps wake.

The current could easily drag him away, too late for him to move out if he did not notice. She could not know if he would swim with only an arm. She had heard of humans drowning easily, even with all their limbs.

She was going to help, in one way or another. Until a hand gripped one of her fins. A gasp escaped her when she was pulled back, harmlessly but strongly. Alon had grabbed her, and now was looking down at her. His voice tangled with dread.

“What are you doing?!”

She snarled, growling up at him.

“The idiot is going to drown at this rate!”

Alon shook his head, keeping her from reaching the shore.

“N-no he won’t!” He let out a trembling exhale, trying to reassure himself. “W-why would he do that? He will stand, at any moment now! He may be trying to lure us-!“

He flinched, her tail giving a fast push. He could only float there while Iara shook her head, looking at the sand.

“He is NOT going to stand up, Al!” She swam away, snarling. “He’s too tired to do so!”

She had seen the grief. Her kind knew it well. Sorrow took many lives, she had heard. She did not think much about it until now.

Alon watched while she reached for the shore, his own heart skipping a beat. Now, he saw too; the human’s lower body was covered in water already, drifting. The loose leather jacket he was wearing floated slightly; only slightly, just enough to drag him away. The water was not waiting. And he was not reacting to it.

“Dammit!”

His long black tail slammed back. His torso leaned forward as he took speed, knowing she could prevent him from sinking easily, but hardly move him to safety.

She was almost by him already; he couldn’t let the human wake and see her.

Iara huffed, getting a hold of the jacket, helping him float, careful of not waking him up. As much as she wished to help, she did not want to be seen.

She was not surprised to see that he did not open his eyes, not even when her hands touched him. The waves were calm even if they were rising; the rain had receded. The water was almost warm. He looked like he had not slept in days.

Iara held him, swimming ever so slowly towards the shore. As she did so, she had enough time to notice his sad but peaceful expression, the tears now gone.

She did not dwell on it much though. She had to keep herself focused.

The mermaid floated there, her long tail brushing the sand below her. While she held him, she could not crawl. She couldn’t push him gently onto safety, not without letting his head sink.

How do I-?

She stopped thinking when another shadow neared. Both azure and silver eyes met, hers noting the fear in his. But his hands were firm, not doubting to help her. His hold was gentle yet stronger, his kind able to push their way easily onto shores, with only the sheer force of their black tails.

Matthew did not wake, but he did dream of hands holding him. Something soft brushed him for a moment, only to move away nervously soon after. He heard faint voices. One sounded grateful and relieved, the other nervous yet caring. He could not make out the words.

He rested there, exhausted, still numb from the pills he took that morning. He was torn from all the emotions that flowed in his heart; all had burst today, unable to be held back any longer.

The hours passed him by, safely. Nothing could startle him awake; a phone broke in his pocket.

He felt warmth. No cold breeze, no cold currents. No water to take him down. Just bright eyes in the depths, watching him.