There was yet another angry croak, which made him sigh. He smiled sadly and stood from the table, leaving what he was doing in order to head for the bedroom.

He leaned at the doorframe and shook his head, seeing Nadiya there, at the top of the closet. She had finally managed to flap her way up there, after many attempts. It seemed she still did not like these chambers much.

He closed his eyes for a moment and listened closely. The night was beginning, and the vampires were waking; he could hear them outside. Nadiya did not like that fact, as usual, and because of it she tried to hide.

As soon as he was allowed to roam, he headed back to the dungeon, even if he felt apprehensive of it. He had to get Nadiya, for he did not want her to fend off for herself in the wild. She had been fine in his absence. He found her besides the patch of earth, ripping what little was left of the plant he had grown. As well, she had snatched the food he had left forgotten on the table.

She was not happy to be taken away from the hole that led to the plains, and much less to be carried through a castle packed with bloodsuckers, which still glared at him with disdain. Now her feathers would bristle every night, because the vampires were closer and more in numbers. He was sorry about it, but he still wanted to watch over her, until she flew well again.

“They are not going to come in here, Nadiya…” He grabbed a small piece of fruit and raised it towards her, but she pecked at him grouchily, retreating with an irritated croak. “Ok, fine, be that way. I’ll just leave it nearby for when you calm down, dammit.”

He was not lying to her; no vampire ever entered these chambers now. They left him be, not even coming into the main room to leave food. If he wished to eat, he only had to head for the main dining room. There, servants would give him a meal and tell him to leave, quite distantly.

No one wanted him near, and he did not want any company either, so he was alright with it. If he was not in the main stables, he usually roamed the courtyard or its adjacent corridors. He enjoyed sitting on the arcs, perhaps to contemplate the sky and his life.

He stopped pondering, because he heard another raspy croak. She was flapping at the top of the closet, building something that resembled a nest, composed of many things she had been snatching in the rooms. Obviously, she wanted to hide in it, to let the night pass away.

“I guess you are still diurnal, while I…” He looked at the main door, not tired at all, having slept in the days lately. “Better get out and let you rest. I’ll find something to do outside.”

There was one last faint rasp, as she settled in the bundle of threads and shiny things she had gathered up there. He smiled at her fondly, but then he turned away to leave her alone in the room. Even if he was calm, he halted at the main door, taking a deep breath. His hand reached for it slowly, part of him still dreading that it could be locked. It was quite an unfounded fear, because now they really let him go anywhere.

There were only three places that he was not allowed to go near: the armoury, the vicinity of Nerys’ chambers, and the gates. Something that was fair in his opinion, because he would not trust them either if the roles were reversed.

He sighed and opened the door, stepping out of his chambers. A frown grew on his face, as usual, because there was always a guard there. There would be a soldier in his proximity at all times, somewhere, keeping a close watch on him.

His steps were followed by many eyes, around every corner. It was something he ignored, as he had learned to do. He could not avoid their presence, so he dealt with it. He soon got out of the west wing, avoiding the most crowded hallways, to save himself from scornful glares. Once outside, he took a deep breath, looking up to the sky. The moon greeted him as he stepped into the huge courtyard, only a few vampires roaming in it, far enough for him to be calm.

As he leaned against a pillar and contemplated the stars, he pondered. It was something he did often now, because he had tried to talk with Nerys, as soon as he was allowed to wander. There were multiple attempts, all following a pattern. He would lurk past every vampire, trying to be inconspicuous. It was not an easy task, but he was sly. He noticed pretty quickly when the guards would be dismissed and replaced by others, exactly at dawn. It was a moment they hated.

After a few failed attempts, he managed to reach her chambers, avoiding being seen. That place made him fear once, yet there he was, nearing it willingly. He called at the door, warily. There was no answer, not at first. He kept whispering, trying to make her say something, anything. She did acknowledge him eventually; a growl echoed out, aggravated and irate. But that let him know that she was in there for sure, and he grew more adamant in his calls.

As he was warned, she refused to open up, determined in her silence. The door was heavily locked. That day, he ran out of time, because a guard patrolled through the corridor. He was forced away, with no chance of speaking face to face.

He had not seen Nerys since she bit him in there. She had not gotten out of her chambers, at all. It truly worried him, because quite a few days had gone by. He was growing tired of it. He felt alone, as much as he tried to deny it. Caring for Nadiya and their horses helped him feel slightly better, but not enough.

No one spoke to him, and his presence was mostly disregarded. There were no tasks, no orders. It seemed everyone was trying to accept he was alive, to then ignore his existence. He was sure she was commanding through that door, to keep them all on check and away from him.

Bastian let out a long sigh, swinging his legs as he sat on an arc. He had no idea what to do today, and he could not even fumble with the chains he had worn to distract himself. A blacksmith took them off, because they had lost the key, never having expected him to not have to wear them.

The idea of grabbing some tools in the forge was tempting, but they would not allow him to go near anything that could knock someone out. Even a simple hammer could be dangerous in the hands of a mad insurgent, which he still was at heart.

Time passed by, while he simply contemplated everything with boredom. He was seated near the servant’s quarters and the door of the storage, in order to keep as much distance as possible from any vampires that could wander.

He was pretty much concealed by the arcs, under their shade, so when a servant walked by he was able to glance curiously without being noticed. That human was heading back to the quarters, quite crestfallen, holding a small barrel. He frowned, knowing well what it contained. That man neared another one at the storage’s door, both exchanging worried glances, whispering.

“Did she?”

The one that came from inside the castle shook his head, sighing loudly.

“Rejected… again. She is going to get sick.”

Bastian’s eyes narrowed, fast to understand who those two were talking about. Both glared at the barrel disapprovingly, their concern clear in their voices.

“It is reasonable to refuse to feed directly, but not drinking from a goblet. She is being reckless.”

“She will surely get over it soon. I hope, maybe-“

“I’m not so sure, she seems more troubled than normal. You should have heard her yesterday. She may very well lock herself in there for a whole month.”

“You can’t be serious.” Bastian now felt the same worry as them, knowing well that a prolonged lack of feeding could bring dire consequences for her. “She will-“

“I know, but there’s nothing to do, she has spoken. Now, will you give me a hand? The barrel can’t be out here for long; we can’t go around wasting blood.”

“Ah, right.”

Bastian finally stopped hiding when they went into the storage, where a lot of blood was preserved in a cold room. He moved away from the arcs and looked down at his hands, a million thoughts crossing his mind. One thing was clear to him, however.

“Nerys, you idiot…”

He bolted off through the courtyard, striding angrily. His eyes narrowed with intent as he headed back into the castle, determined even if nervous. He did not see a shadow flash above in the sky, two wings concealing the moon for a second. A winged vampire landed on a balcony, right by the throne room. He glanced into it curiously and was not surprised to see that the lord of the castle was not there at all.

“Let me guess, torn again?”

————-

 

He leaned against a wall, breathing deeply as he hid by a tall pillar. Steps echoed, and he counted every single one of them.

One, two…

A guard was patrolling near the stairs that led to her chambers, immersed in the march, nearing the spot where he hid. Those jade eyes were shadowed as always, all their uniforms having a hood adorned with dark feathers.

Three, four…

Bastian held his breath and stayed very still, because the vampire was about to pass him. He knew they had very good hearing, so he did not dare make a sound. If the guard did not suspect anything and did not focus on sensing him, he would have a chance to go unnoticed.

Five, six…

He shrunk as much as possible against the wall and pillar, seeing the vampire walk by. His shoulders slumped in relief, because he was not spotted. The guard kept walking ahead, unaware of his presence.

Seven, eight…

He took his own steps, silently, moving away from his hiding spot. The stairs were close, and he descended them hurriedly, almost jumping over them. He had studied their patrols, and in a minute, another guard would stride from the other end of the corridor. At the end of the stairs, however, he was mostly safe. He halted at the last step, glaring back, smirking a little pridefully.

After letting out the breath he had been holding, he focused again. He patted the wall at his side, barely seeing anything in the dimly lit corridor. There were no windows, no torches, so he was surrounded by darkness. He advanced forward, very slowly. The last thing he wanted was to trip and alert the guards above. After a few seconds, his vision adapted a little to the dark, and he saw the outlines of the big door ahead.

Now, he had to be careful and call her quietly. Last time the guards heard him, and he did not want to be escorted away again. He needed to see her, no matter what. Hopefully, she would not growl at him again, or tell him to go away.

Bastian halted at last, right in front of the door. He looked at it with apprehension and bitterness, but there was determination in his eyes as well. After a few seconds, something echoed inside the chambers, very faintly. He barely heard it, but he knew it had been a trembling breath. She knew he was there, her senses betrayed his presence.

Great, might make things easier.

He called softly, as gently as possible.

“Nerys?” There was no answer. And so, he leaned a little closer, while trying to keep down his bitterness and anger. His voice was tired but caring. “Nerys, answer me, please.”

He tensed and frowned, because he heard movement on the other side, and a long sorrowful exhale. There were no words, no regard for his call. And so, he stood there, staring at the door without apparent emotion. His hands clenched slowly when he heard something familiar, something he hated. There were laboured breaths, almost growled, not voluntarily. He heard the unmistakable sound of claws twitching, in reflex. She was trying to ignore and keep down the hunger, stubbornly.

And I thought myself blind…

Bastian grew tired of waiting. Nerys flinched, hearing a loud knock on the door, an angry call.

“Open up! We need to talk!”

He did not care if the guards upstairs heard him, no whispers would work. She needed to hear him, and listen. His shout did get a reaction from her, but one that did not please him. Her voice echoed faintly from within, as angry, but more sorrowful.

“We don’t need to. The facts can’t be debated. You’ve seen and felt what I can do… what I am. There is no justification for my-“

“I don’t want excuses or apologies!” He gave the door a kick, fed up. “You are a vampire, yes, there’s nothing to argue about that! I’m not here to excuse the effects and ramifications of your affliction! I just want to understand what made you suffer it!”

“I contracted the disease due to a mistake, one I committed all on my own. You only need to understand that.”

“For crying out loud…” He crossed his arms and glared with a scoff, like if she could see him. “I can’t make any sense of that! Vagueness will only make me think you are a coward, so open and talk to me! Do you believe this isolation will fix anything?! Will pain ease your guilt?!”

“Did it ease yours?”

Bastian took a step back, startled by those words. He knew well what she was talking about. After her loss, he had dared to fight like she had done, endangering his life by hunting beings that could rip him apart. And when he was under her claws… he surrendered. Nerys snorted when she heard him stutter, trying to avert the matter, for his strife never really made him feel better.

“J-just…! Just let me in! You have been in there for far too long, without feeding! You are making things worse… This is not going to help either of us.”

Again, there was silence. He hated it, so much. A shaky breath escaped him as he laid his head against the door, growing tired. He whispered again, knowing she could hear him clearly.

“Please, stop it, Nerys. I really don’t want you to punish yourself, much less like this. The hunger can’t be ignored, you need to appease it, not endure it. You have to accept what you are… I have! You are still here, I found you. We can still talk, try to sort things out. It’s all that matters now. If you care, you will open, and maybe drink some blood. It does not hurt anyone, so I won’t judge you. Just listen to me, please…”

Bastian kept going, knocking insistently, unaware that a figure was approaching from the stairs. Two sharp eyes fixed on him, curious of his pleas.

“Look, I don’t care about the bites, alright? I know you won’t lose it and maul me. Hell, I would let you feed on me again, if that made you more willing to-“

“My, such a devoted servant!”

Bastian yelped and turned sharply, in order to look behind him, at the one who spoke suddenly. He panted against the door in shock, startled yet again by another vampire, who was standing right by him in the dark.

His surprised expression soon turned into a frown, because he saw no feathered hood and no red banner over his shoulder. In fact, he wore brown robes and a black mantle, which did not display the flaming maws of a dragon, but a sharp wing. It was like the ones that came out of his back, imposing even if folded. He had never seen this vampire, and it was clear that he was not part of her clan.

Lochan leaned his head sideways, because the human stood tall suddenly, to glare him down. He dared speak to him defiantly, judging him with his scarred gaze, as if he was offended by his presence.

“I am no servant, vampire.”

Those words made Lochan blink and lay a claw under his chin, to ponder what he was witnessing.

“She is not feeding, and to make matters worse, she allows this impertinence from her subjects. Such a lord she is!” Bastian leaned away with a snarl, because Lochan stepped closer with a smirk, in order to point at his chest with a sharp nail. “Humans should not raise their voices near their superiors, you know?”

The vampire felt even more bafflement when his claw was slapped off, harmlessly but firmly.

“You are not superior, but sickening. Your kin is worse than a pest, carriers of a disgusting disease that twists the world itself!”

“How dare you?!” He bared his claws and wings, yet that did not impress the other much. “We are enlightened beings, this is mere evolution! I could easily snatch you and drag you all over, to paint the floors red! The only thing that is keeping you alive right now is the fact that I can’t seize the property of another lord! I would-!”

Both gasped when the door at their side was slammed open, suddenly.

“He’s not my property!”

Lochan clapped with a grin, while Bastian simply froze. Nerys was standing there tiredly, glaring at them like a wrathful matriarch.

“She got out!”

“Nerys, I-“

Bastian shut up, because those green eyes fixated on him, intensely. Nerys was looming over him once more, her gaze cold and intimidating, bright in the dark. That expression did not last for long, however. He relaxed when she visibly did, her scowl turning into a soft sad frown. She whispered firmly, but the exhaustion was there.

“Let’s make things clear, I don’t want blood, and much less yours.”

“But-“

He felt slightly hurt when she ignored him, yet again, stepping past him to glare down at Lochan instead. She crossed her arms, hinting with her tone how close she was to snapping.

“What are you doing here, Lochan?”

The winged lord smiled, like if he had forgotten entirely about the previous heated exchange, his attention easy to divert.

“You see, I heard that you fell asleep. So I simply had to come and see if you were handling it well, because you can be so dramatic and-“

“Shut it, Lochan.” Bastian tensed, seeing her turn and step towards her chambers. “I’m not in the mood…”

Lochan raised one of his claws and coughed against it, something that made Bastian glance back at him with an expression that hinted how much he considered that move suicidal.

“Hopeless sentimen-“

“Won’t you two leave?!” Both men flinched when she clenched a claw near them, losing her patience. “I said I don’t want you here!”

Lochan’s sardonic smile faded, because his sharp eyes saw well in the dark, and she moved enough for him to see her chambers. There were glass shards all over the floor, probably due to the broken mirror at the corner.

Nerys made a move to get into her room and close the door behind her. She did not manage. With a small growl, she closed her eyes tiredly, feeling a hand latch around her arm to keep her from shutting them out.

She could push off that hold very easily, because human strength was nothing compared to hers. A mere swat of nail would have been enough, yet she only stood there, giving Bastian her back as he spoke firmly.

“I’m not leaving.”

Nerys opened her eyes, feeling anger as Bastian stepped around her and into her chambers, without letting go of her arm. He only opened his hand when he was far enough from the door, where she would have to grab and drag him to make him go away. He looked up at her with determined expectation, even if his voice hinted anxiousness.

“I’m staying until we are done talking. O-or you until you shove me out, which I doubt you’ll do.”

Lochan watched awkwardly as they glared at each other silently, for a long painful minute. They almost seemed to want to stab with their stares, their stances unmoving, tense and angry. Bastian seemed to win, even if her sharp gaze had made him cower many times. Nerys surrendered, shaking her head with a trembling sigh, which made him smile faintly.

“You have always been as stubborn as her…”

Bastian shrugged, finally averting his eyes with a sad snarl.

“She would have kicked the door down, so, no.”

Nerys sat on a nearby chair, bowing her head in defeat. She held her claws together as she eyed him, asking with resignation.

“What do you want me to say, Bastian? I’m so-“

“Wait.” Both looked back at the door, remembering they were not alone. Lochan had a nail raised, and he was beginning to frown in thought. “Go again, Nerys?”

Bastian and Nerys exchanged a scowl, both annoyed by the disruption, but it was she who questioned Lochan.

“What?”

Lochan pointed at Bastian, showing his fangs in his next concerned snarl.

“Bastian?” Said human blinked, because the winged vampire dashed to him in a second, pointing a claw at him. “The one who sent you to die? That bastard who wanted to-?”

His accusing words and glare were not taken kindly. Lochan hissed in surprise when Bastian pointed back, but with a fist, tired of being framed as a traitor.

“I did not want her to die! I would never!”

Lochan was not one to doubt his own sight, for he rose in power thanks to it.

“You lie! I saw clearly that scout of yours! You knew that we were-!“

Bastian’s eyes widened, realization striking him.

“W-wait! You were there?!” Nerys’ shoulders shook, bothered greatly by their screams. “You were in those goddamned ruins!”

“Indeed, there I was! We simply wished to have a private assembly there, but no, you had to send Nerys into a fight she could not win!”

“Oh god, you better not have sired her! I swear, if you forced her to-!“

“Shut up!”

Both halted and lowered their fists, hearing her shout. She was holding her head with both claws, very tightly, her fangs showing in a pained grimace. After a few gasps, she let out a tired growl, which echoed in the dark chamber.

“Just shut up…” Her green eyes gleamed under her long streaks of hair, piercing them. “Neither of you intended to bring me this pain. So keep quiet… I can’t stand it.”

Bastian stepped off, all ever wary. He kept himself from yelling, because he recognized immediately that Nerys was hearing a cacophony in her mind. Lochan crossed his wings around his frame, eyeing her carefully while she let out raspy breaths, trying to calm down. The human was the first to speak, sitting next to her and looking at them both grimly.

“Care to explain what happened in that damn fort? You two were there, I was not.”

Lochan neared the table they sat by, slowly, leaning his head in question.

“So, you did not plan her demise out of envy and greed?”

Bastian opened his mouth to retort furiously, but Nerys was faster, ending their chances of arguing.

“He did not.” She did not raise her gaze from her claws and the table, still trying to steady her breaths. “I simply assumed it because of your words, Lochan… and my own insecurities and fears.”

Bastian leaned on the table, glaring at Lochan again.

“How can you be so sure he did not lie?” There was an offended hiss, which he ignored. “You were a rebel, Nerys. He could be spewing nothing but deceitful libel and-“

Nerys had enough of accusations, for she regretted her own. She slammed a fist on the table, shutting them up again.

“Bastian, he is NOT lying. I know it for a fact. He is an insufferable imp, who can never keep down what he thinks. I thank god he is not my sire, for I would not be able to tell him to scram.” She raised a nail to warn, seeing those smaller fangs peek, a mouth opening to drivel. “Lochan, if you don’t want me to banish you indefinitely from my land, you better believe he is innocent. The extent of his loyalty can be foolishly suicidal…”

A painful silence fell, because she stopped talking, feeling a strong headache. Both knew that she was hearing whispers, even if the two stayed quiet for a while.

“Then…” Neither Bastian nor Nerys met Lochan’s eyes, for they were as confused. “If none of us three is lying, who did? I swear that scout saw us, and we sensed clearly that it was a human one. There is no mistaking a rebel.”

Bastian covered his eyes with a hand, letting out a long sigh. He tried to think, piece all the facts together… but he couldn’t.

“It does not make any sense.” He trembled slightly, clenching his teeth. “I find it hard to believe my scouts would lie to me. Why would they sabotage our operations?”

He could only fear, because Nerys spoke up, emotionlessly.

“There are always senseless disputes between free men. Treachery for power…”

Many times they had heard of officials rising higher thanks to the misfortune of others. Some would gladly ignore a common enemy to attain more than their allies. His scouts did not only report to him, but other units as well. Nerys met Bastian’s eyes as he spoke, both pondering deeply the situation, finally listening to each other.

“It is true that some would backstab others for their own gain. But what would anyone win with your demise? I was the one to take on the mantle of your fight, no one else raised in rank but me! What would your death bring anyway? Your battles helped many, providing resources all could benefit from. You were not corrupt like others, but a general to be proud of.”

She was also a dear friend, selfless and passionate. He could not recall anyone who did not regard her with admiration and respect. Likewise, she could not remember having wronged anyone as a human, and no other officials had given hints of malice near her. It was an enigma they could not solve, and due to it, she looked at him sincerely.

“You were the only one I could imagine doing it. And even then, I kept wondering why. Now that I know the truth, I am even more lost. I don’t have the answers you want, Bastian. Believe me, I want them myself.”

They both stayed silent, not daring look away from each other, speaking without words. That moment was ruined, however, because Lochan coughed suddenly and waved a wing.

“It seems you two have a lot to talk about!” He sidestepped towards the door, to then lean at the frame with a mischievous lean of head. “I’ll leave you to it… I wanted to compel you to drink some blood, but I think I won’t need to! So, off I go. You will tell me everything once you figure things out… right? Right!”

Nerys rolled her eyes as Lochan marched away, not without making one last comment about their strange predicament.

“His insolence is much easier to overlook knowing he is not a traitor! Still, don’t let it go to his head, because you are the one at charge here! I’ll check on you soon, Nerys!”

The echo of his steps faded gradually, leaving them to sit nervously, alone at last. They were face to face, only the table between them. Bastian fidgeted with his hands, because Nerys eyed him, his neck to be precise. It was not due to the hunger she felt, he knew. She began to fiddle with her long red hair, struggling to find words. After a while, she said something, shamefully.

“There are scars.”

Bastian looked sideways, unable to see his neck well without a mirror. He knew the marks were there, however, a remnant of the wounds she inflicted. The bite was messy and fierce, yet…

“I don’t care.” Nerys did not understand how Bastian could shrug it off so easily. “I’m sure that the bite you felt was worse. So, can you tell me what happened? If that imp did not sire you…”

He was not blind, even if his eyesight was not as good now. Lochan was a lord, it was obvious. Honestly, he disliked him, a lot. But Nerys seemed to trust him, even if he was in those ruins that day. Surely, his clan was the one to bring her down, which only made him feel more conflicted.

Nerys leaned back on her chair, to give the ceiling a contemplative stare. She found strange how she was trying to avoid everyone minutes ago, yet now she was facing it all.

“Bastian, have you not questioned why I am a lord? How have I been able to change so much in so little time?”

He looked at her features intently, raising an eyebrow.

“Well yes, I have. It was something I had time to mull over in that cell, you know? I attributed your prominence in vampiric hierarchy to your rigid backbone and resilient persistence.”

Nerys chuckled sadly, hearing Bastian dare to jest slightly. It really was strange after all that had happened.

“Sure, I needed guts, mine and other bloody ones. However, I assure you that those things would have not been enough.” She raised a claw close to her eyes, making him frown as she twirled her nails, sharp and unlike the gentle fingers she once had. “Lochan was not alone there, and I am not referring to his clan. An ancient vampire lurked in the shadows, Bastian. Not even your sly mind could comprehend how much time his bloodline has lasted, powerful and noxious. I really thought you wanted me gone when I saw that creature, after following your lead. We stood no chance, there is nothing to tell but how we fell prey to their claws. I had always believed I could win any fight, until then. My heart could not accept defeat, not if it was caused by your hate. The offer of vampirism was there, at hand, a way in which to keep existing… and I took it. I betrayed you all, what I was, hoping I could find answers. But I only found misery… mine, hers, and yours.”

“But you lived.”

Nerys raised an eyebrow, seeing Bastian give her a stern look, one she did not understand. She let out a huff, laughing at herself.

“Things would have been better if I had just died. This is-“

Bastian cut her off.

“No, they wouldn’t have.” She stared baffled, slightly daunted, because he glared at her critically. “You would be dead, yes. And then what? You would have died thinking I hate you. I would have blamed myself all my damn life, which probably would have ended with me getting eviscerated somewhere, without finding out it was not my entire fault. Thanks to your survival, even if painful, I was able to cross paths with you again. I can see you, speak to you, and understand what you went through. I try to do so…”

She shook her head, saddened by his words, which she found harrowing.

“Bastian, I have changed. The Nerys you knew is gone. I am-“

“You are partly mistaken. You have changed a lot, but you are definitely not gone.”  He sighed, laughing bitterly. “Dammit, I never thought I would say this b-but… I don’t care that you are a vampire. Look, you need blood, so be it. I can’t blame you for it, because you don’t torment humans like other beasts do. You actually rule justly, if we forget what kind of dominion you lead. I have not seen torture rooms in which victims are drained, and hell, I have not heard one single scream in the castle. Those humans serve you willfully, something that I still consider sickening, but also rational. Of all clans around these lands, yours is the most merciful, so I would submit to it as well if I had to choose. You, Nerys, are the first vampire I tolerate. And you know that is a feat. You do have anger issues, but I would be mad too if I had been in your position. Ever since you have known the truth, you have done nothing but keep an eye out for me, like you used to do.”

She truly could not understand. He had always been far too forgiving and caring, guileless and foolish. Time had not changed him, it seemed.

“I bit you many times, almost killed you in several ways. Right now, I am controlling myself.” She showed her fangs clearly, leaning slightly closer, warning him. “To you, I’m a threat. I am your enemy.”

Bastian seemed to frown at that, looking down in sudden thought. Nerys could only tremble when he looked at her again, shaking his head.

“You are not my foe. I couldn’t bring myself to fight you.” One of his hands clenched on his robes, his voice suddenly doubtful. “Am I still yours?”

He felt slight dread when she averted her gaze, pondering. His heartbeat soon relaxed, because those green eyes looked at him with care, a sad smile growing on her lips.

“You are not, not even as a rebel. Deep inside, I missed our bond.”

They had known each other since they were children, and all their time together could not be forgotten so easily. That fact made him smile like her, closing his eyes as he whispered quietly.

“I missed having you around. That’s why I am glad you are alive, even like this.”

Nerys’ heart was beating hopefully, thinking that maybe, just maybe, she could amend her acts and be forgiven. That trail of thought died, however, when Bastian voiced her name.

“Lyssa still misses you…” He did not see how her expression darkened, or how she tensed as he spoke. “She must be wondering if I’m dead. You should have seen her eyes. Maybe if we somehow let her know-“

“No.”

Bastian looked up at last. What little hope he had been gathering in his heart faded, seeing those claws pierce the table slightly, trembling.

“N-nerys?”

Her gaze unnerved him greatly, and not because her eyes were sharp or feral.

“She must not know.”

He tensed like her, slightly wary. Her demeanour changed completely, her disposition for their conversation gone.

“I might be alive, but I am a vampire now, Bastian. She can’t see me again, not like this.” She stood suddenly, giving him her back. “I have chosen a side, one I can’t leave now. There is no cure, no way back. I owe loyalty to the one that sired me, and I don’t belong between humanity. You know they would burn me alive, end me without question. We are to be killed and purged from the world, no exceptions. I am dead to them, as it should be.”

Bastian doubted, trying to argue the facts. It was completely true that she would be abhorred in human lands, hunted and killed. But Lyssa loved her too much for her to share that sentiment; she wouldn’t shun her and judge her like all the rest.

She wouldn’t… Right?

He had seen the love in Lyssa’s eyes, one he understood very well. And for it, he tried to reason, debate their possible future.

“If she knew what happened, she would under-“

Bastian winced, shutting up when Nerys shouted back.

“She will hear nothing!” She glared at him over her shoulder, her eyes narrowing and gleaming menacingly. “Bastian, the sight of my change would hurt her more than the grief of my death! She has always fought for humanity and its values. Something I have pushed away, willfully. I don’t want her to see me like this, and she never will! She is far, safe, shielded by her own might! She will move on with her people… like I did, to serve my new kin.”

Bastian stood slowly, disbelieving.

“You are blind.”

They would never move on, yet she could not accept it.

“I am realistic.” Tears began to fall from her green eyes, as she looked at his scars. “I can’t excuse what I am, and you can’t either. There is no denying that I’ve hurt you, for I see it and remember it. I will never pardon my acts, no matter if you do.”

He shook his head, feeling impotence. All ever slowly, he raised a hand, to reach for her shoulder.

“Nerys, I don’t care. You-“

He flinched, because one of her claws latched suddenly around his wrist. She watched sadly and calmly as he cowered in reflex, only confirming her thoughts. There was still fear, deep inside.

After a moment, she slowly let go, pushing his hand down gently. He could only stand there, trying to steady his breathing while she left through the door. Only two words were needed to break his heart.

“I do.”

He bowed his head, unable to stop his shoulders from shaking. Her steps echoed outside, fading slowly, with no more words said. Alone, he closed his eyes, refusing to let his angry tears fall. Frustration and sorrow were all he felt, apart from understanding. No one could change the facts, much less him, yet he could not accept them.