“Have you gone mad?”

“No.” He glared slightly at her, offended. “If I have, you did a very long time ago.”

“You are not made for this.”

“Neither was she, Lyssa.”

No one should have to perish under the claws of those monsters, but many did. And that was why he had made up his mind. It was something that angered her greatly. Lyssa snarled when Bastian gave her his back, walking ahead through the dark stony corridor. He did not look back, not even when she whispered in frustration, with her hands clenched.

“You are an idiot…”

Deep inside, he agreed with her. But his heart was set, determined. She had tried to change his mind for weeks, yet nothing had swayed him. No matter how much she asked, no matter how much she tried to reason… he still asked for a meeting with the council. Today, he was finally allowed to speak up, voice his appeal.

The council always debated the most important matters in the insurgence, led by the wisest men and women. All gathered in the deepest of chambers, hidden safely in the underground fortress, where only torches could provide light.

He had to ask, do something of worth. Lyssa could understand his pain, but not his guilt. After what he did, she should not look at him so kindly. No longer could he stay behind safe walls, not when Nerys gave her life to this cause.

No, he could not stay idle and simply watch. He had seen Nerys’ older brother cry, without a hint of blame in his grieving voice. As well, he knew very damn well that Lyssa would keep fighting, as she always had done. They could spill the blood vampires wished to devour, and he could not endure more loss.

Bastian growled, feeling useless, weak. He fastened his pace through the dimly lighted tunnels, vowing to surrender his life if it meant something. His march felt eternal, everlasting, much like the walls around him. This vast ancient grave had existed for ages, shielding humanity for centuries. He had always felt at home inside it, the last human citadel. The three of them would always return to its reclusive depths after every incursion. Its grand underground courtyards and narrow chambers had always made them feel safe, even if hidden from the sun.

Now, he could not feel the same. If Lyssa was not with him, he would have left this place alone, to find any vampire that could roam. But he still had her, so he would endure his pain with sense, not instinctively. He had to think clearly, not with the blind rage he had felt that night. Nerys had never wanted him to act like that; she would want him to be careful.

Bastian took a deep breath, raising his head with resolution. Now he could see the huge doors ahead, and the two guards that always kept watch over them. Because he was a tactician who served in many successful expeditions, he was more than a soldier. That role was not much compared to others, but it was enough to allow him an audience.

The room was not silent, he could hear whispers coming from inside as he stood upon the doors. The council was still debating their last meeting, which was meant to discuss the scarcity of resources in the land. The farms around Hollowgrave were small, barely enough to sustain the large population hidden underground.

They were busy, immersed in their debate; but when Bastian was let in, the governor stopped looking at the other delegates. Rein glanced down at him as he walked forward, his steps sure, even if his grey eyes hinted dread for what he would ask. He kneeled down upon their high podiums, lowering his gaze respectfully, resting a wrist on one knee.

Bastian waited to be acknowledged before daring to speak, knowing his place. Rein raised an eyebrow, reaching for the documents that detailed his life and acomplishments. Reading them was unnecessary, because he had seen him before, like most of the humans hiding in the fortress.

Still, protocol was important, for order brought safety. Bastian flinched subtly when Rein’s voice echoed through the dark stony chamber, all gazes set on him.

“Bastian Triggs…” He could only sigh tiredly, hating to hear his surname, much more if it was said with a monotone tone. “You have requested a meeting to ask for a raise in rank.”

It was not an unusual thing to ask for in this chamber, as rising in rank meant gaining power. However, Rein was surprised that Bastian requested it, because he knew him. He was not one to wish to fight directly, unlike Lyssa and Nerys.

There was a reason behind such wish, and Rein understood when Bastian raised his gaze. There was anger in those grey eyes. That emotion had been there ever since Nerys perished, and he made sure to hint it in his next words.

“I am only asking for what can allow me a few men, strength to fight those beasts. I beg you to not mistake me for a greedy man, because I do not care for any reward a higher rank may bring me.”

Most humans feared to go out and encounter those creatures. Some dared confront them for influence and recognition; even common soldiers had more privileges than civilians. Altruism was not what made many fight, but avarice. Bastian was not driven by such reasons. It was much simpler than that; he needed closure. That, Rein could see. The governor held his hands together and kept looking down from his podium, pondering deeply. He gave him a serious warning, out of care.

“Perhaps I do not have close range experience, but I do understand our fights. I have guided many soldiers with my tactics, which have kept many battles from becoming massacres. That should be merit enough.” The council was taken aback, for he dared interrupt Rein. “If my record does not prove I am able to lead, I don’t know what will. One must not only rely on strength and blind instinct, for we are not animals like our enemy.”

He would never let his carelessness bring tragedy again. And if it came, he would fall as well. The council murmured when he continued to appeal for their approval, standing tall to glare, against all formalities. He could not care any less for reputation, and his tone hinted it.

“I know my last report brought the loss of Ne-” His voice almost broke. “…A valuable general. But I have been the most reliable tactician in years; there has only been one fatal event due to my word. Other strategists can’t say the same; all carry the weight of countless deaths. Failure is unavoidable, not everything can be predicted. I did fail once, but I will never let it happen again, only if it’s the last thing I-“

Bastian jolted and stopped, because the doors behind him slammed open.

“It won’t happen!” He frowned, seeing the two guards make way for her furious stride. Her ochre eyes were full of ire, fixed on him. He could only snarl and clench his fists when she spoke up against him. “I stand against this foolish request!”

Bastian turned to stand face to face with her, furious. But she did not cower, not even if he raised a fist near her. Both knew he would never hit her, no matter how angry.

“What gives you the right to oppose this?! I rightfully arranged-!”

Again, she had no qualms in confronting him; he shut up when she jabbed his chest with a finger, making him recoil and falter.

“I can suppress this silly appeal of yours, as a captain and as your friend!” She turned to face Rein, her beliefs firm. “He is more useful to our cause as a tactician! He is the mind behind our force!”

She was determined to stop him, for this request was suicidal. Both knew. All delegates but Rein sat baffled, used to heated political disputes, but not what they were seeing now. The two were ignoring all protocol in the middle of a serious meeting, almost forgetting their presence as they screamed at each other. Only the governor seemed to understand the sorrow in their voices, hidden by anger.

“Her demise was caused by my mind! I won’t give orders that don’t establish my own fate! If I fail and bring others to death, I will perish as well!”

“So that’s it?! You want to throw away your life upon a mistake?! Just so you can feel better?!

“You should understand me, you miss her too! How can you keep me away from something you devote your life to?! I can’t stay behind while you still fight! You are a stupid hypocrite, Lyssa!”

“I could get you arrested for insulting an official!”

“Do it! Let’s see if that makes things better!”

“I don’t want to, but you are forcing my hand! It may be the only way to stop you from committing suicide, you asinine-!”

There was a loud cough. Both froze, remembering they were not alone. Five figures were looking down at them condescendingly, disapproving of their argument. Rein leaned closer on his seat, speaking slowly once silence settled, the two hinting shame in their expressions.

“There won’t be any detentions, captain. He has the right to plead upon this council.“ Those words made Lyssa snarl, while Bastian smiled sadly. “Few dare defy vampiric rule, and many less decide to fight against it. The least I can do is consider his request. In fact, he might stop serving if we refuse. We can’t let his aptitudes go to waste.”

“But he-”

Rein gave her a shake of head, firm.

“From now on, he may aid our cause as he wishes.” His grey eyes opened more, both with dread and hope. “This council shall debate his new rank soon enough. When it is decided, he shall be able to depart and fight against those beasts with his own squad.”

Bastian bowed his head, thanking them silently. But he was not blind to her plight, knowing how she felt. Her hands had dropped at her sides, and her expression had darkened. Rein waved a hand, warning her.

“I hope you don’t forget our common goal, Lyssa. Remember what we battle for. Nerys held those values until the last moment.” Bastian and Lyssa grimaced at those words. “You are dismissed. Return to your burdens.”

The two guards led them out of the chamber, and neither dared say a word. The doors closed loudly behind them, leaving them in a painful silence. Bastian had gotten what he wanted; now he could go out and make those monsters pay, perhaps share Nerys’ fate.

They kept walking away through the dark corridor, not looking at each other at all. They would always exchange glances, speaking without words. This time, however, their eyes would not meet. She let out a faint whisper, which only he heard.

“I sometimes hate you…”

He had stopped, letting her keep walking away. It took him a minute to find words, but when he smiled and said them, she could only cry.

“I always do.”

With that, he began to walk away through a different tunnel, away from her. He did not look back and ignored her silent lament. He had seen her mourn enough already, ever since Nerys vanished. He hated to see her cry; even if he had not done this, she would still hurt. She hid it well, but he knew her better than anyone. Every night, he would hear sobs echo from her chambers. His tears would fall like hers.

Soon, he was far from her, heading towards his small quarters, through busy crowds in underground pathways. Most of humanity hid in this grave, living in denial. Now he knew that no place was safe from those creatures; they were just winning time in their already short lives.

As much as he feared, and even if it hurt, he couldn’t hide anymore. His mind kept wondering how Nerys was taken down, each possibility all too horrifying to think of.

He just could not live like he had before.