“Please…”

Uriel’s breath wavered and ended in a shaky sob. It was the only thing that echoed in the dark room.

He was holding a bowl, gently. But his claws were shaking; he almost dropped it, having been holding it for more than three minutes already. Time felt like an eternity, he waited hopefully for a little longer. The angel would not move, so he closed his eyes and moved away his hands. He laid the bowl on the bedside table near him, reluctantly. The brew was ice cold now, done hours ago, refused multiple times.

He could not keep looking at Alexis. But he refused to stand up from his chair and leave. He just waited anxiously, not quite knowing for what. The angel was lying on his bed with his eyes closed. However, he knew he was awake. He just knew. Alexis had been awake for two days already; two days had gone by since he brought him back to his manor.

Uriel had wanted to speak. He had wanted to apologize. But Alexis had not answered his cries, his pleas to be forgiven. He was only answered with silence. His amber eyes had opened once before, but they had only stared at the wall or ceiling, without emotion. He had not even said a word, not a single sound left his lips, not since he awoke. The angel only cried silently when the demon knelled at the side of the bed and begged him to answer him, to say anything. Uriel had let out a mournful wail, once he realized that Alexis would not even look at him. He had expected anger, he had expected yells and curses once awake; yet there was only coldness, an eerie silence that haunted him.

He had barely moved; he had not spoken either. He had not even eaten anything… for three days. He had not been able to, not since he lost his wings.

Both knew now what had truly happened.

Uriel’s eyes only showed regret and horror when he looked at him, after saving him from that monster. All his body had trembled as he forced himself to look at him again, there, wounded and beaten near the bloody waves. He had not been able to leave him behind; he had picked him up in his arms, as soon as he ran out of tears in that horrible coast.

Had to bring him home, make sure that-

No. He could not call this place home anymore. It wasn’t.

He had brought him back to his manor, fast as he could be. He was fearful of all the wounds he had; he had been weak in his hold, fainted from blood loss and exhaustion.

Uriel had been scared. He had feared that he could die in his arms, while he carried him through the woods. But his angel kept on breathing; he kept on clinging to life. He had laid him here, in the room he once had thought welcoming. He had then reached for him, needing to see the wounds closely. He cried for hours, because he saw the marks of slashes and claws. The bruises were all around him; he had been beaten and dragged to the limit. He thanked god he was not human. He had to contain himself from breaking down as he bandaged carefully his body. He had been thankful that Alexis had been unconscious in that moment, because he had to make sure the wounds did not get infected. It had been hell since he saw those torn wings in her arms.

No. For Alexis it has been hell since he ventured into those caverns.

Uriel let out a raspy sigh. He tried to keep a clear mind, while he stared at the big bandage tied around Alexis’ frame. It was held around his chest and back, in order to cover his shoulders and the wounds. The bandages were dried up, again. There were small patches of red, which he wished he could stop seeing.

A claw trembled and rose slowly, with pure doubt. Uriel opened his mouth, to speak. But five minutes went by until he managed to say anything.

“Alexis…” Those black eyebrows seemed to go down a little. A faint frown grew on the angel’s face. “I need to- We need to change the bandages, again.”

There was no answer. But Uriel knew he heard him.

Yesterday, he had to pick him up and move him, because he did not do so for himself. He was always lifeless and limp, dead like. So he had to lean him up, with the most fearful carefulness he ever had. One of his claws held him, while the other removed the bloody cloths and then wrapped the new ones around the wounds.

He knew Alexis had understood him now. He could smell faint fear. Alexis feared him. And he couldn’t blame him. He could only blame his own disgusting actions.

He had sworn to himself he would never harm him once he saw Alexis’ heart. The angel had carried his heart on his hands, for him to see all the time. He was sincere, honest and kind. He had trusted him, a demon. And in return… he fell into the blind hate he swore he would leave behind. He broke Alexis’ body, mind and heart. He let him fall under the fate he had feared; he let him feel the terror of being hunted. He let him know he was wanted dead, or worse.

He had sworn to him that devils were not how he had been told. He had told him that he had no reason to fear. He lied. Had he not arrived in time, he would have died at the fangs and claws of that monster.

Uriel felt a cold shiver and stopped lamenting silently; his tail curled on itself. He held his breath when he noticed that those amber eyes had opened. Again, they were empty of emotion. He did not dare move while Alexis did. His angel shifted onto his right side slowly and carefully, with subtle signs of pain. He let himself lie silent and gave him his back. It was not a coincidental or innocent move; he had turned around with a clear mind, on purpose. He was letting him see, letting him stare at what he had condemned him to.

Sure enough, Uriel’s shoulders shook, being forced to have a better look at the marks, at the white bandages sticking onto his skin by dried blood, at how his left arm lied onto his side tiredly, healing as well from the clawing. He had to stare at everything. The lack of his wings was what struck him more. Both of them.

Alexis did not move again. He slumped more against the blankets with a long exhale and buried his face onto the pillow. He ignored Uriel and his worries. Even his own needs.

Could he… Could angels die from sorrow?

That inner question made Uriel whisper again, to try to not crumble in dread.

“I can’t… I can’t express how much… How sorry I am.” If there were wings, they would be pressuring around him now; his shoulders had tensed when he spoke. “I c-can’t excuse what I’ve done. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, I don’t.”

They could agree on that…

Alexis did not look at Uriel; he did not move to meet his guilty gaze. He did not want to. He would forever see the stabs on Uriel’s flesh; he would forever regret allowing that he fell, that his chest had been pierced, and that his tan skin had been covered in red. His jaw and torso would forever wear the scars and reminders of that deadly experience.

He was sorry for that… but he had not meant it. He had been forced to do it. He had cried when his limbs had been forcefully controlled, he had felt cold, he had felt pain as well. He had felt the horrible sense of terror and sickness when he saw him be cut, by his sword and those rocks. His heart had been free of malice; he had tried to apologize, he tried to explain, call. He wanted to understand himself. He couldn’t blame Uriel for fearing him; for he had feared his own soul himself, a soul which in reality held no evil instincts.

He was sorry for what had happened, he was, truly. But he couldn’t forgive Uriel for what he wished upon him. Uriel had really wanted him dead. Not only that. He had forced Ayako to do so as well. He had thought of the best way to make him pay, a payment out of measure and proportion. He had wanted to hurt him, by making the other person who he trusted most hate him, despise him. He did that, knowing well that it would break him inside. He wished upon him hell, not only death. Uriel let himself hate; he ignored Ayako’s pain for his own cause. Ayako had cried; he had seen her cry, as she raised a dagger over him. He knew that she had not wanted to forget, he knew it well. His demon made sure that he could not speak to her; he had not tried to understand what had happened before seizing her mind. He had not cared that she or Lykaios could end his life. He allowed them to rip his feathers away.

And for what? What has been achieved? Why am I still alive? I did not deserve this, not from her.

Alexis closed his eyes, because he felt how a hand laid on his shoulder, slowly. He tried to stay calm as Uriel whispered, to end his plea.

“I can’t fix what I did. But I can’t allow myself to do nothing as you- A-as you-”

He couldn’t forgive his demon. Yet he couldn’t hate Uriel either. He just could not bring himself to do so, somehow.

The claw was shaking on top of his shoulder. He could feel Uriel’s fear, and his doubt; he was hesitant to even be near him.

Uriel was afraid. He knew. So he did not bother to struggle or flinch when the claw moved gently, to take off the bandage. There was no reason to not let him.

But he would not help him either. He would not move. He did not care. He did not fucking see why he should keep on.

They were only feathers; that was what he told himself before. He had not minded losing some; he had not thought much of them. They were always there. Now, he couldn’t feel them. He forgot every now and then; he kept trying to fold them around him, to give himself warmth, to touch them… only to feel emptiness and pain.

He had always felt them; they had been always there, since he came to this dammed world. He now understood why his kind had grown used to not use them as much if not born a soldier. He now understood why they treated them so carefully, so weary of hits or any trouble. He had always loved to fly; he had always used them to run, to hold things. He outstretched them around carelessly; he used them to reach the tallest spot, everywhere. He had only felt fear for them subconsciously once. She feared when those three…

When she took them away.

Alexis blinked and pushed away his depressing thoughts, because he felt how two hands gave a last securing tug to the bandages around his arm. He glanced sideways. He had hardly noticed how Uriel removed the used fabrics. He had not noticed how he tied new ones around his wounds, carefully. So carefully, that he barely felt himself being held and moved. Those hands were again gentle; they never clawed, even if they ended in sharp nails.

Uriel backed away, and then sat tiredly onto his chair. He let Alexis be. He just stared down at his claws, heartbroken. He had too many worries and thoughts, all mixing deep inside.

He had told Ayako that he would see her once everything was over. But he had no idea of what or how…. What to do now.

His tail curled around the leg of the chair painfully; it pressured, and the wood almost cracked. He was dying to bolt, run, and find her. He had seen her eyes, as she carried those bloodied wings away.

God, her eyes…

She believed in him; he made her despise Alexis. He made her almost kill him, almost. She was not able to do it. And that fact made him feel even guiltier. He knew she had to be hurt, that she had to be feeling lost, confused. She surely had reached her cabin by now; she surely had realized that he was not there.

And what will I tell her now? I had planned to watch Alexis die and then meet her. I had wanted to thank her. But how can I thank her for this?

He had to find her, now, before she looked for him instead. But he couldn’t leave, he couldn’t leave him alone. Not after what he had done.

Hopeless, stupid. I deserve every stab and cut those rocks left on me; I should-

Both angel and demon jolted a little, because a sudden loud slam echoed. Uriel was fast to stand, sharply, making his chair fall down. He heard clearly the hit at the main doors, which he had locked in fear of Ayako coming back.

Alexis had heard it too. The demon felt his heart snap when he saw him move from the corner of his eye. The angel had sat up and backed backwards, until his back hit the bed’s headboard; he did not doubt to pressure his wounds against it. He was hugging himself, with a scared and unfocused look in his eyes.

The slam had been too fierce for it to have been the wind or a human. And it was not raining either; it was no thunder, even if it seemed like one. So both remembered the beast. While Alexis tried to hide more, even if he could not, Uriel dashed out the room.

There was no way it could have survived. Still, the dread sank deep into Uriel’s heart. He headed quickly into the main hall, and arrived fast enough to hear and see how another hit made the doors shake. This time, they bent and cracked under the force of the slam.

Uriel readied his fists, adamant to face anything that tried to attack. Yet he still flinched when the doors broke off their hinges. The last forceful slam echoed through the main hall. He expected a demon… He expected to see red eyes. And that was what he saw, two bloody eyes, which glared at him with pure anger from the shadows. A huge feline crept in slowly; with multiple tails raised tall around his bearlike figure. His sharp claws stepped strongly into the room, slowly but without doubt.

Lykaios took a deep growled breath. His fangs were bared as he greeted Uriel, with the vilest tone he could muster.

“You better have a good excuse for what you did, Uriel.” The younger devil took a step back as Lykaios did forward. His claws were out, while he glared at his shocked eyes. “A perfect excuse; because I swear, I won’t listen to anything less.”

The serpentine tails erased completely the slight difference of height between them, and even increased it. Uriel raised his hands forward with a stutter, when they loomed over him; they were ready to lunge, at any moment, surely if he let out a bad choice of words.

“L-Lykaios, listen-”

“I do. I really want to.”

Uriel huffed when the tails dashed down onto him. They gripped his wrists forcefully and pulled at them, to bring him closer to his maw. Lykaios nodded at his hands, unfazed by his subtle panic.

“I want to hear why in heavens you would be here. I want to know why you are not at her side, grateful of the horrible acts you made her commit. Why are you here… when I can smell Alexis’ blood on your hands?”

Uriel should be grateful; he should have been there at her side after the angel died. He knew he would chase his angel, he knew he would take revenge after he left Alexis behind for him to find. What he could not understand was Uriel’s contradicting behavior.

“I did not mean for her to feel like this, I just wanted-!”

“Just wanted to play with her?!” Lykaios shoved him against a wall and slammed his paws onto his chest, to keep him pinned. The beast stood on his hind legs and towered over him, growling down at his face. “Since I laid eyes on you I knew you were a fool! You only cared about catching your angel; you almost burned her when she came to your decrepit manor! You stalked them for weeks! You only cared about changing her views of Alexis! To be able to reach him! And now that you have gotten rid of him, you forget about her! You have used her as a backup shield, a tool! Now, you don’t have any more reason for her to be at your side, is it not?! Do not try to excuse your pitiful and vile selfishness upon me; I won’t fall for your sweet and underhanded words! For you, she is only a-!”

Lykaios halted when Uriel slammed his hands around two of his tails. He showed his fangs as well, as he growled in protest of those last words.

“S-she is everything to me!”

That only made the wildcat feel more anger, sure that the fire in Uriel’s eyes was only faked care.

“Then why hurt her?! Why let her suffer the aftermath of your actions alone?! Why are you not at her side?! Why?!”

Uriel took in a raspy breath, trembling as he felt those red eyes pierce him.

“I thought I had to protect her! I can’t-”

“She does not need protection from an angel! But from you! You, you vain stupid excuse of a-!”

Both froze when a third voice echoed into the room.

“Stop…!”

Lykaios’ red eyes widened with disbelief when they saw a wingless angel. There, slumped weakly against a door frame; he could barely stand upright while he uttered two words, with a deep scowl.

“P-please, stop…”

Lykaios had to stop, because Uriel let out a scared heave when Alexis tried to step closer and away from the door. The angel only managed to fall forward with a snarl, onto one knee and his hands. The younger demon pushed him off, and hurried to his angel’s side.

The lynx narrowed his eyes at the angel and whispered, with a bitter and confused growl.

“He is alive.”

Uriel tried to help Alexis stand, but the angel moved a hand up to keep him away, with an angry frown.

Lykaios’ tails raised once more, his voice rumbled like a howl, tangling with disbelief and rage.

“Why is he alive?! Here, with you?!”

Uriel had crouched at Alexis’s side, worried. But he quickly stood up when Lykaios began to approach, glaring at them both. His violet eyes were full of shame as he tried to explain, while he shielded his angel.

“L-look, I know this seems- I just-! He did not really try to kill me. I thought he- Another demon took control of him. I blindly assumed that-”

“So you are telling me…” Uriel trembled, because Lykaios leaned down subtly, with a feral glint in his eyes. “You erased all the memories she cherished… due to a misjudgment?”

Uriel nodded slowly and closed his eyes. His tail dropped in shame and impotence. Lykaios took a step away and stared at them both in disbelief. He shook his snout with a snarl, unable to understand Uriel’s actions.

“You are fools; I do not care how you both fell into this mess, or how you struggled; I can quite smell the scent of another demon on both of you, your gazes tell me well that whatever has lurked must be dead. I only care for one thing right now. You hurt her, with your carelessness. You almost made her kill him, when she had not wanted to. She knew that something was not right, that he would never attack you. She could see that, but you did not.”

Alexis raised his gaze from the ground, without trying to stand, because he could not. He met those red eyes without fear, with a defiant glare. His voice came out with a cynic and mocking tone, all for the feline.

“You did not see it in time either…”

The angel had dared to mock him.

Alexis did not cower or lose his defiance when Lykaios growled and whipped his tails closer, clearly angered. Only Uriel stopped Lykaios from attacking Alexis, because he stood in between them with his arms raised. That did not stop him from roaring though.

“Neither did you! For all I know, you both are blind! What it took for you both to realize the absurdity of this whole situation?! Because it was not her pain!” A tail gave a slight push to Uriel’s chest. He accused them both without second thoughts. “Uriel, you did not even blink as you made her forget! And you, Alexis, you did not even try to explain!”

Both angel and demon growled. Some small flames tangled around them for a second, out of Uriel’s exasperation. None burned as they both lamented.

“I didn’t know what made me hurt him! I thought I was to blame! I could not tell her! I felt guilty!”

“I did not know the truth; I did not know that he was innocent! I never thought that another demon could-!”

“You really thought that Alexis would not be seen as prey?”

Uriel froze. Lykaios laughed bitterly and sharply. He looked away, but he kept lashing with his words.

“You both have been lucky for far too long…” He closed his eyes, and then said a truth that made both shiver. “How many days it took for me to find him before you did, Uriel? Do you think I would have halted my claws, if it wasn’t for her? Do you think angels have it easy once they fall? Did you really think that no other devils would wish to rip him apart, and take the prize? You are an idiot. Any other demon would wish to hunt him, and you knew it deep inside. I am bound to her wishes… Only that fact prevented me of killing him myself. Even you considered taking him out in the beginning. It was a matter of time until another devil found him; and you did not pay mind to your kind’s feral nature. You ignored the signs of another predator roaming near your angel…”

His red eyes opened again, and then fixed onto Alexis, without any trace of care. There was only sorrow.

“And now, she pays for it all. Do you know… what will happen if she sees that you are alive?”

Uriel knew. God, how he knew he couldn’t explain this to her.

“I did not mean-”

“It does not matter what you meant. But how you will solve it…”

Both demons glared deeply at each other, because the next words Lykaios said made Uriel’s blood boil in rage.

“There’s only one way. And if you are too much of a coward to accomplish what you wished before… I will do it.” Alexis closed his eyes tiredly when Lykaios’ claws twitched, ready to pounce. “She must not see him again.”

Uriel outstretched his own claws. Lykaios analyzed the situation, because he noticed how the armors around them shivered subtly. All of them laid their gauntlets on the handles of the spears, while their master growled with hate and anger.

“You won’t kill him.”

Lykaios sat down. Uriel was taken aback, because Lykaios did not make a single move to pounce on Alexis. He did not even try to get past him and his armors. His long ears leaned to a side; he simply gave them a calm stare, and a simple affirmation.

“Then… She must forget what she did, and why. I know that none of us want her to realize what has happened. It would kill her inside. It is killing her deep inside right now, even if she does not know why.”

Alexis looked away with angry tears, while Uriel lowered his claws in helplessness. Lykaios’ voice tangled with pity, as it echoed faintly in the dark hall.

“I don’t want to hurt you, neither of you. She would not want that. However, I can’t stand doing nothing while she cries. I can’t allow her to remember and find out what she has done. For she is already struggling and fighting to do so…”

He huffed and stood. He gave them his back, and then began to walk slowly towards the doors he broke to get in. He left with a last demand.

“I give you three days, Uriel. No more, no less. We both know what should be done. Your choice.”

The lesser harm to her heart…

Uriel and Alexis cried silently while Lykaios walked down the stairs. He disappeared back into the shadows from which he came from. The red glow of his eyes faded slowly, the sound of his claws against the ground stopped, and left them in silence.

Neither dared to move, for a while. But eventually… Uriel glanced down worriedly at Alexis, who still was kneeling on the ground.

“I am sorry…”

“I know.”

His voice had tangled with a lot of anger and bitterness, in that one single whisper. His amber eyes were refusing to meet his violet ones.

He did not care for his apologies. But even with that anger in him… He had moved. He had been unable to stand doing nothing while Lykaios placed all the blame on his demon.

Uriel clenched a claw on his chest, because he understood that fact as well. Alexis had moved and spoken, for his sake.

His amber eyes narrowed when a hand lowered and outstretched towards him, for him to hold and try to stand up. Uriel was looking down at him with worry and concern, but Alexis could only see pity in those violet eyes.

The demon’s heart filled with hurt when the angel ignored him. Alexis pushed himself to his feet with a tired grunt; he refused to take his hand to stand. When the blond tried to step away from him, Uriel could only worry, and not for himself. Alexis blinked and huffed, because an arm stopped his sudden fall. His legs had trembled and wobbled, making him stumble down. He would have hit the ground, were not for Uriel reaching and holding him, again.

The angel contained his angry and impotent tears, because Uriel realized something. His demon saw now why he had not moved before, why he had seen him fall when he called Lykaios off.

Uriel’s next words tangled with sorrowful shock.

“…You… You can’t walk.”

Alexis clenched his teeth and glared at the ground with fury. He yelled with disdain and anxiousness.

“I- I can…! Let go and leave me be!”

“Alexis-”

“I said: Let. Go.” His next words would have not been heard by a human, low and bitter. “Or… Just end this already.”

Uriel had no other option but to let go. He allowed Alexis to try to stand on his own again.

The angel stood still for a whole minute; he limited to balance himself, with his hands half raised at his sides. His eyes were fixed on the ground, dreadfully. He felt unstable, he felt too light, because he could not feel the weight of wings behind him. Every step felt like he was going to fall over an edge.

Uriel was ready to catch him again, in case that he tripped. But Alexis managed to take a few stubborn steps towards a wall. Once at its side, he let himself lean against it, and then began to walk back to his room slowly. He limped more than walked, like he did to reach the two demons.

Uriel did not look forward to leaving the manor. He felt tied. Two ends were pulling at his heart, in different directions. And it was making it shatter in half.