“Alexis?”

The young demon called again.

His tail swayed as he pushed a door open, yet again. He glanced into yet another room. His eyes gained even more worry when he only saw darkness, because the angel was not in this one either. He did not bother to close the door like he always did. He bolted through the corridor again, faster.

Alexis had been walking. He had been recovering. He had managed to move, almost like he did before, after having worn the cape for a few days. His wounds had stopped hurting as much too.

Then why…?

“Alexis?!”

He had already looked in the living room, kitchen and his room. The angel was not in any of those places.

Alexis had been roaming more and more each day, indeed. He had sometimes wandered into dark rooms and isolated corners, because he still felt dejected. But those times, he was at least able to be found. He could not find Alexis now. He did not know where he was.

He had left him space, privacy, knowing how he felt about being near him. He was still subconsciously afraid of him; he was still hurt by his actions, even if he did not blame him anymore. While Alexis avoided him, he usually went into his own chambers, to read a book or try to not sink into his guilt. He had stopped keeping an eye, because he understood that Alexis wanted to be alone. They had barely interacted with each other. But this was not normal. Today, he had gone out of his chambers to make dinner, and he did not see his angel. Alexis did not go into the kitchen for the food he always left him there. He was nowhere to be found.

Uriel slammed his claw onto his chest and narrowed his eyes. He could tell that Alexis was not far. The ache in his heart was not strong; he could barely feel the pulse from the spell. He was somewhere, and alive.

But where?

Uriel halted a little his steps. His eyes filled with sorrow. His claws reached forward reluctantly, and lied on that big and old door. He opened it slowly, and then glanced at the huge dusty kitchen. He averted his gaze from the painting in the dark.

He dared to look here. But he was not there either. There was only dust.

He had not seen him outside through the windows; he was not outside at the garden. The pulse was too weak for him to think that Alexis could have gone away through the woods. He was already at the top floor, he had already looked downstairs. His angel couldn’t have possibly learned an invisibility spell. He couldn’t have flown away.

It isn’t like he could have flown onto the roof, like he did before, in order to glance to the sky and-

The demon ceased his thoughts, his eyes opened with realization. He remembered how the angel had always liked to reach the tallest spot, how he loved to outstretch his wings. He always had marveled at how easily he moved with them, he had always watched from a window while Alexis took off for the roof, in order to admire the sunset or the clear sky.

The roof… He has to be on the roof. But… his wings…

Uriel pondered, his eyes glanced around him in thought. He had ignored the second floor for a very long time. But he still remembered, he still recalled that there was a corridor with a small ladder and hatch.

It took little time for the devil to reach that ladder, hidden somewhere in forgotten hallways. A strong breeze was flowing outside; his claws had a hard time opening the trapdoor. He stood upright, slowly. He outstretched his claws at his sides, to balance himself on the tall rooftop. His violet eyes looked up, to look ahead wearily. His blood ran cold… because he found his angel.

Alexis was standing at the tallest spot of the manor. His feet were too close to the edge. The wind was flowing strongly; it brushed his clothes and hair back, but it did not manage to move him. He was not moving at all; he had his gaze fixed on the sunset. He was letting the breeze caress him, without emotion, without seeming to notice that a demon was behind him.

“…”

Uriel opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He could only tremble, he could only shiver, scared of his own thoughts. He raised his claws in front of him, carefully. Alexis was some distance away, at the edge. He took a first step. He feared that his angel could do something stupid, because he could not see his face.

He had begun to sneak closer, but he had to halt dead on his tracks when Alexis spoke up, suddenly.

“I know you are there, Uriel.” His amber eyes looked over his shoulder, with a serious and tired glare. His expression was less emotional than the one of the demon, who had fear in his violet eyes. “Are you here to drag me back inside, and then force me to eat, or check my wounds again?”

Uriel’s tail was moving in nervous sways. He could hear the emotional tiredness in the angel’s voice.

“…No.” Uriel sighed, and then took another step closer, slowly. “I did not know where you were. I do wonder why you’re here…”

He was choosing his words very carefully, because he could not discern what emotions flowed behind those cold amber eyes. He could not know what thoughts pounded in that sorrowful mind. And worse of all, the manor was very tall.

Alexis simply shrugged and looked ahead again, uncaringly. He commented with a monotone tone, like if he were just speaking of the weather.

“I wanted to feel the wind again. I miss it.”

This was not the same… But at least he could feel the breeze here, stronger thanks to the tall structure. He could feel how it caressed his black and blond hair; he could remember. The cape on his back was flowing a little behind him, without offering the same resistance that his wings had.

The hurtful ache in Uriel’s heart grew when he looked down at Alexis’s feet. Only a simple step forward was needed… A single one, which contrasted with the multiple ones he would need to run to reach him. Or maybe a fast leap.

Uriel proceeded slowly and wearily, because Alexis only had eyes for the edge, and the air. His words were flowing out all by themselves.

“I remember the first time I flew. And the last.”

Alexis’ tone was unemotional, and it still tangled with bitterness, anger and hurt. Uriel worried more when his voice broke a little with the next words.

“I remember how afraid I was when I was told to fly, for the first time.” Uriel took another step, closer; followed by a quiet snarl from the angel. “Angus told me to just jump down. But even if I knew that my wings would open all by themselves… I was scared. I did not want to jump. I kept backing away from the edge of the tower, even if I knew I would not be hurt, that there was always a net down there just in case. Our wings always open anyway… They always do. But I kept on refusing, like a true coward. All angels must leap down, at a very young age, in order to develop their wings. I could not be a weakling; my uncle would not have that.”

“…You flew.”

Alexis laughed silently, with a small cynic smile.

“I would not be here if I hadn’t, would I?”

He was still grateful for that shove Angus gave him. He would always be. He was not pushed out of anger or scorn, but out of care.

The old tiles of the roof were creaking, the sound was nearer. Uriel had erased half of the distance between them already. He stayed calm while Alexis mourned.

“The thing is… I was afraid of falling. I was afraid that my wings would not react, shield me, or open, when I knew they would.” Alexis closed his eyes and contained a chuckle with a grimace. “Then why…?”

He did not move when he felt claws grasp his arms gently. His demon was now right behind him, as afraid as he had been that day.

“W-why don’t I fear to jump now? When I know my wings won’t be there to stop me?”

Uriel stared down at him sadly, finally able to see his face. He was crying silently, without emotion in his eyes.

Alexis took a deep breath and shook his head, because he felt how Uriel pulled at him subtly, to move him away from the edge.

“You don’t need to hold me like that; I’m not going to jump like a fucking moron. That would not fix anything. It wouldn’t take me back home.”

He really had just wanted to feel the wind.

Uriel sighed and nodded a little. But he refused to let go of him. He let him stay, to feel the familiar breeze. He did not force him to go back inside, not until the moon rose high.

—————————

 

Enough…

His claw tangled with bright violet fire. He laid it onto a helmet of a lonely armor, in the middle of the dark. His eyes glinted in the shadows while he glared; there was pure focus in his gaze, like if that empty shell was the only thing he could see.

Uriel panted while he let out most of his energy. He let out everything he could, to be able to stand this. The armor trembled, like he did. All its body seemed to glint; both were suffering a stronger connection, fiercer than any he had enchanted before. Another pair of ghostly eyes pulsed inside the helmet, much brighter than the glows in other armors. The marionette stood tall, while Uriel slumped a little and had to lean on it.

The spell drained most of his soul’s energy. It was tiring and hurtful. But after a few huffs and exhausted breaths, he stood again. He did not allow himself to care for his own pain. He growled with narrowed eyes.

“It’s enough.”

He couldn’t let him suffer here anymore.

He wouldn’t dare to go back to that horrible place himself. But he still could reach it in some way. The armor took a step away from him, firm and sure. Its violet glows allowed him to see clearly; it was almost a perfect puppet. It walked away into the night, guided by his mere will.

He only had one wish.

————————————–

Alexis worried this time. Uriel looked like if he had not slept; something that he knew was true. But until now, his demon had not wanted to show the aftermath of his guilt on his expression, he always hid his exhaustion under his determination. He never had let him see the signs of lack of sleep in his violet eyes.

He had stopped avoiding Uriel; he was ashamed of the last conversation they had on the roof. But since then, Uriel had begun to avoid him instead. He had been locking himself in his chambers, and the rustling of pages could always be heard. He had not been there for much time, but it was enough for Alexis to worry.

He had tried to ignore it. But maybe he had told Uriel too much that night. He really regretted having placed all the blame on his demon and having revealed how pained he was. He did not do that intentionally. Not recently at least.

He tried to make time heal, for days… But that plan faded from his mind today, because he saw his demon bolt out his chambers and head tiredly for the main hall. He caught a glimpse of his violet eyes when he crossed the corridor near the living room; his eyes were sharp, and they were blazing with rage.

He was worried for Uriel, for his strange behavior, so he decided to finally speak up. He hated to see his demon like that, hurt. He got out of the living room and began to follow through the hallways. He hurried, because his demon was walking fast, and he could barely see that violet glow ahead of him.

“…Uriel?”

Uriel did not halt. He heard his angel call, but he kept going. He knew, he saw. He had hope. An armor finally returned to the gates of the manor. It began to step up towards the entrance, calmly but without stop. It did not have to open the doors, because he was there waiting for it. He waited patiently, for it to hand him what it carried. A sad smile grew on his lips, he stared in silence for a minute; he contemplated with hate and hope, at once.

Alexis reached the main hall. As soon as he set foot in it, he felt a cold shiver run down his back. His blood ran cold, because he saw his demon at the doors, taking a sword from the hands of an armor. He saw how he raised the weapon up, and how he looked at it with what he could only describe as appreciation. There was silence; painful silence reigned while Uriel inspected the shining sword.

“Why… is that thing here…”

Uriel finally looked over his shoulder. A deep frown grew on his face when he saw Alexis there, with a defensive, shocked and weary stance. His guilty violet eyes met his angry amber ones, almost with longing.

“You are going home.”

Alexis’ eyes were fixed on the runes. His mind could not think, all his body was frozen while Uriel neared, sword in hand. The demon was looking at him firmly, speaking without doubt.

“Your wounds have healed.”

Alexis finally moved. Uriel had expected him to react, to blame him for going back into that horrible place again. But his angel felt rage for other reasons, and he did not doubt to show it when he spoke with resentment.

“Keep that thing away from me, Uriel.”

That thing had only brought them misery. It had meant death, since the very beginning. He could see the pain in Uriel’s eyes; he knew how he had felt while controlling that armor. He had seen that retched cavern again.

His devil halted when he saw and heard him react like that. His claws tensed around the sword, and his tail curled sadly.

“Alexis, this can-”

“Are you really telling me… that you believe what that book says? After all that has happened?”

Uriel let out a long breath, seeing that Alexis was not exactly happy that he had retrieved the sword. He had expected it, so he tried to explain.

“Even if it could be a lie by that… that thing; it could be true. I could help you. I tried once, and I want to try again.”

The demon shivered when the angel raised his gaze from the sword, to look him in the eye. Alexis shook his head, and gave him a look full of hurt and disbelief.

“Again. You are blind again, Uriel.”

“I’m not blind!” Alexis did not blink or take a step away when Uriel leaned down sharply, to growl at him in angst. “I see you suffer! I see how you mourn, trapped here! I can’t stand it, and you can’t either! I need to take you back, or at least try. I need to, before you break down, before-”

For the first time, Alexis interrupted him with a louder yell.

“I’m already broken!”

Uriel had never heard Alexis scream with such anger. Not like this, not with a glare full of fury and despair. He was grimacing; his breathing was shaky because of his outburst. He was now leaned towards him, with his fists clenched.

The demon could only stand there, unable to react while Alexis yelled, without second thoughts, tired of everything.

“Look at me!” Alexis raised his arms at his sides and cried angrily. “For fucks sake, look closely! I can’t go back!”

The angel showed himself off, begging his demon to understand. His heart twisted; his voice was broken, because he was only seeing confusion in those violet eyes.

“I don’t have my wings a-anymore.”

Uriel frowned, did not seem to want to see.

“You would be safe. You would be… Your uncle-”

“Do you think Angus can do shit about this?!” Alexis gave him an incredulous look. He bowed his head, and then laughed cynically. “Do you think it all will be fine if I return? Do you think everything will be alright? Uriel… You don’t know shit about me or my kind after all, do you?”

He did not know anything. Maybe he would have to explain why he couldn’t go home, even if he was dying to do so.

“I beg you to understand me this time, Uriel. I had no choice when I saw you in that fucking orb. The elders made me jump; or more like shoved me down. And it was an honor! But of course! How could I refuse a tradition so old? How could I dare, as an angel, refuse to follow the pledge of my entire race? How could I dare to go back… without accomplishing my oath?” Uriel flinched with each word. There was a fake laugh in them. “You know, I think that fucking book tells the truth. Because it would be a fate worse than death for my people, to allow their bodies to be ripped, degraded and then stolen from a worthy death! Any angel would bring their own demise, before allowing a devil to bring such pain and mockery! Never has an angel dared to carry on with that shame! Never! All seek pride and honor! I would be the first to flee; I would be even more of a pariah! A stain in their righteous bloodline! I don’t want them to see me like that! I had enough!”

It all flowed out quickly, in a desperate outburst, full of impotence and fear. Alexis panted, needing air after yelling at Uriel. He hoped that sword would be moved away, out of sight. Away, where it would not remind him about his home or all the things he found in this world… where he lost everything, including himself.

Uriel looked down at the sword intensely; with what Alexis thought was remorse. A while went by until the silence was broken, because both struggled to find words. When Uriel broke the silence, Alexis’ hopes were crushed, like the bones of his wings had been.

“I am sorry.” Alexis’ eyes widened when Uriel raised the sword in his claws and sliced his left palm, to stain the sword in red once more. It was like if he could not see the dried droplets on its blade, remember how it sunk into him that day. His voice did not show any trace of pain from it, he only showed lament for what he intended to do next. “You are dying here, slowly. You could die, at any time; you are an easy target. ”

Uriel stood closer, and moved the sword in an offensive stance. Alexis trembled and took a step back.

“U-uriel?” He raised a hand up as he leaned away, not liking the look he was giving him. “B-back off. I mean it, do not-“

“There, you would survive.” He cut him off and advanced on him. His expression darkened even more. He only had one thought. “You need to go back, as much as it hurts.”

Alexis gasped, because one claw dashed and gripped one of his wrists. Uriel pulled at him and forced him to get closer. And he was unable to stop him or make him let go, because demons were naturally stronger.

Both were overwhelmed by heartache. One for resorting to this, the other seeing that he had not been understood. Alexis began to hit Uriel’s claw with his free hand, but the devil was not budging, not even faced at all. His eyes showed how determined he was about trying what the book told.

“Let me go!” Alexis growled and met his eyes. Uriel’s stance was similar to the one in his nightmares, even if his eyes had care and sadness. “I do not want this! Why won’t you listen?!”

Even if he struggled with force, Uriel’s expression only softened; he pleaded kindly, unbothered by his antipathy.

“Please, Alexis… You saw the book.” He offered, still holding on to his wrist, keeping him close. “If you said the words written, if you let me mix our blood on-”

“No! Fuck, let go of me! I won’t do it! I won’t say a fucking word! Not even if they are a lie! You can’t make me!”

With those last words, Uriel suddenly froze. But he still did not let go. Alexis shivered as he noticed the shift in his demon’s expression. His head had bowed slowly, his eyes had darkened, and his tail had given a strong hit to the ground. His voice now was a mere whisper, but it seemed to rumble in the room.

“Make you…?”

It hurt him to whisper like this, threateningly. But he couldn’t stand the pain in his heart anymore. He couldn’t stand seeing Alexis hurt.

If to end with this I must regret…

Uriel dashed quickly and strongly, in just a second. Alexis heaved, somewhat dazed. He did not have time to react; he was pushed and pinned against the nearest wall. He was restrained fiercely, but not with enough drive to hurt. Not yet. His amber eyes unfocused, because his demon moved the sword; he laid the sharp edge on his neck… carefully.

“Don’t make me try.” Uriel whispered darkly, to ignore his own inner screams. “Because I can.”

Alexis finally breathed and recovered from the push. His surprised expression turned into an angered grimace, once more. He was unfazed by the sharp sword on his throat. Surprisingly, while in other times he would have cowered, this time he snarled up at the devil, somewhat defiant.

“Again… You have not listened to me.”

“I did listen. It’s you who refuses to see what must be.”

“Be?” Alexis closed his eyes and leaned his face to a side, to then snort right at his face. “I must be hurt? Cut? Humiliated? Again?”

“I won’t do any of that, if you help us both.” Uriel leaned the blade closer and showed his fangs, calmly. “Just bow loyalty to me, say that you belong-”

“Why bother; you won’t dare go through with the whole thing anyway.”

Uriel blinked, because Alexis opened his eyes and grinned up at him mockingly. He was pinned and threatened with a sword, but he was glaring up at him anyway. He had to move a little the weapon, because Alexis suddenly leaned forward and onto its sharp edge. He did not let him cut himself; and that, only confirmed the angel’s suspicions.

Alexis mocked him; he dared him to pressure the sword again.

“But fine, make it even. I cut you with it, it’s only fair.” The next words were more poignant, his amber eyes looking right through him. “Unless… you can’t? I think I remember you said something one night, about not being able to do something. Who knows, maybe I just dreamt it. Right?”

“I- I…” Uriel recovered from his bewilderment, and then roared with anger. “Don’t mock me! I am giving you a chance to end this easily! I don’t want to hurt you, but I will stop at nothing to protect you in the long run, Alexis! I need to save you! I can bring myself to be more remorseful if I must! I- I can lock you away, until you tire and say the words out of desperation! So let us make this quick instead!”

The angel just raised his hands at his sides while he screamed. He just took that defensive posture, which would allow a hit, with no emotion. He did not react when those claws pushed him more against the wall, he did not cower when the sword pressured against his neck either. He was unafraid, because neither of those things really hurt. The demon was bluffing. Uriel could do nothing without him playing his part, and he couldn’t bring himself to force it out of him.

So he begged.

“P-please, j-just say it.”

His amber eyes looked at his violet ones for a long while, with a blank stare. Alexis limited himself to wait, to taunt him with silence. Uriel wheezed when he realized he was being answered with indifference.

He was so tired of his silence…

Alexis huffed; this time it did hurt, because Uriel gave him an angry shove, which hit him against the wall more fiercely.

“Say it!”

His heart broke when Alexis kept himself firm. Only a stab would make him bow or quiver, only real commitment to the ritual. He was not scared or intimidated at all; he only had tiredness in his voice when he gave his ultimatum, with an exasperated snarl.

“For what? To be judged and then pushed down again, for sure. I would not be seen like one of them anymore. They would despise me, look down upon me. They did already. You know nothing about our stupid laws and traditions; we never break them, they must be followed. I will have no chance to be redeemed. I don’t want to go back home to be punished…” Alexis laid a hand on the sword’s handle; he took his sweet time to tangle his fingers with Uriel’s. “If you really think all that is best, stop asking me… And force me already to say what you want. I won’t do it willfully. So be what I saw in that orb and make me.”

He waited to be cut by the sharp and bright weapon, the one that had been meant to pierce his demon, not his own skin. But instead of being wounded, he was dropped down. He was able to stand again on his own, because Uriel let go of him.

Uriel cried, while he lamented with a shaky and quiet tone.

“I can’t.”

Alexis knew; he had known since Uriel refused to end him when he most welcomed it. He stood tall, and then glared at him with a prideful scowl.

“Then, let me be. I’ve had enough of you and your hesitant spite.”

He was tired. He had thought he would understand his feelings this time… But he did not. He never listened.

Uriel could only close his eyes and resign to keep quiet while Alexis moved away. His angel headed straight for the doors, with no doubt. The dreadful silence only lasted for a minute. The doors were opened, and a last whisper echoed.

“I beg you to listen, one last time, very carefully. Don’t let me go back to my kind, no matter what.” It could be very easy for Uriel to achieve it… not even needing to be near. “I don’t want that either.”

The sword fell to the floor, forgotten, when the angel went into the shadows outside the gates. The devil sobbed silently, knowing that he had dug a hole from which he would never climb out. All his options were denied; he had no hope. His claw slowly rose to his pounding heart, while he watched through a window. A figure faded in the distance, through the dead and dark forest. Two hearts ached, shattered to pieces.

They had enough.