“Careful.”

“I- I-”

“You won’t fall.”

Alexis did not like this. Not one bit.

“I d-don’t need your help.”

Uriel still did not let go. Alexis could let go himself… but he did not. For some reason, he kept holding onto Uriel’s hands as the demon tried to help him stand. His amber eyes were fixed on the ground, his chest was moving erratically with his trembling breaths, and his gaze had slight fear and distrust. Uriel was keeping some distance between them; his claws were only outstretched for him to hold and use as balance.

“I d-don’t n-need-”

“You do. And I won’t let you fall.”

Alexis snarled, angered. He could feel Uriel’s eyes on him; he was looking down at him firmly. But he was patient as well: His demon was standing tall; he was not moving an inch while he shivered in front of him. He had barely managed to take a few steps away from the bed, even with his help.

Uriel couldn’t allow that Alexis kept on falling. His angel had tried to stand and walk. He had tried to leave, because he did not want to stay at his side. But he only had crumbled down to the ground, every single time he tried to move. He ended up crawling, multiple times. He gave up trying after a few days, and he had not dared to try again since. It hurt him to do so; his wounds were not completely healed, even if they were already closed. His kind could take a lot, but they were not as fast healing as demons were.

As much as Alexis felt humiliated, angry and ashamed… he had not been able to object when Uriel decided to take things into his own hands. His demon had grown tired of the painful silence and his stubbornness. They both did not like this, but there was no other way.

Uriel looked away for a second, saddened by the apprehensive hold Alexis’ hands had on his.

“Let me help you, I beg you. I know this won’t make any difference, I know. Just… Once you can walk…” If he can at all… “I will leave you be. Just try.”

He couldn’t do this by himself. Not without something where to cling onto. The walls would not help; he would not learn to balance himself leaning against them. He would not learn to live without his wings like that.

Alexis’ gaze moved up a little. He looked slowly at those sharp claws, with an expression full of rancor and… dread. Uriel had sharp claws. Almost as sharp as the dagger that ripped away his limbs, almost as feral as the ones that sunk into his flesh. They were the ones that let this happen. The ones that had made her forget.

“You should have not stolen her memories away.”

Not again…

Uriel closed his eyes with a grimace, to not see the amber eyes that were now glaring at him.

“I could not let her see.”

“She will never see you again… Indeed.”

Uriel opened his eyes, because Alexis’ voice had tangled with the most angered tone he had ever heard him use. He did not look like the same kind angel he knew. The angel snorted, almost growling while he continued to lash out verbally.

“You made us both ghosts in her memory, even if only I needed to disappear.”

Alexis did not flinch or cower when Uriel’s claws clenched around his fingers, almost enough to hurt, but not doing so. Uriel let out a harsh whisper, almost menacingly.

“You will not die for my mistakes.”

Both thought the same.

You damn idiot…

Alexis suddenly spat out words that hurt Uriel, because they were said uncaringly.

“I almost died. I would have not cared if I did. I feel like I really did.”

There was no trace of the cheerful and lighthearted soul he knew. It all went away when those wings did. Only a cynical and sullen angel was left behind. Now he resembled his kind more, he was colder. And he couldn’t blame him.

Alexis pulled away his hands from Uriel’s hold angrily. He grimaced subtly when he did, because his wounds were susceptible to sudden moves. Uriel could do nothing while his angel glared at him with disdain. The tension could have been cut with a knife.

“You hurt her. Twice. And for what? To allow me to keep living, like this… I did not ask for it.”

Alexis stood on his own, to taunt him. Both glared at each other, not looking away for a single second. Uriel leaned down and closer to him, in order to give him an intense look. He spoke slowly at his face, wanting to make things clear as water. Alexis only looked at those fangs while every word flowed.

“I fucked up, indeed… I did! I was the one who was mistaken. So you are not the one who deserves to die, I won’t allow it. You can curse me; despise me as much as I do.” Alexis kept himself in an angered silence when Uriel bolted for the door, with a last growled whisper. “I don’t deserve to be at her side. So, everything is like it should be.”

The door was slammed closed. But it was not locked. It would be pointless; he could not even get out of the manor by himself.

Alexis felt like when he woke up in that cell, all over again. And this time, there would be no hunter to free him from his torment.

———————–

 

Wind…

He took a deep breath. He could feel the strong wind, and how it brushed his face, how it caressed his hair and made it lean backwards. It was a familiar feeling. It was comforting.

His eyes were looking calmly ahead, while his wings flapped at his sides. He never glanced below; he only had eyes for the sky and its clear unending blue color. He closed his eyes, and let the wind take him. His feathers shivered with the breeze, his figure barely had to move between his wings. He was flying… until he felt a sharp sting on his left wing.

He could only gasp when he felt himself lean to that side. The wind was suddenly unable to support him, and it let him drop down by gravity, red stained. His body fell. His hands tried to grip the air desperately, without anything to hold to prevent his descent. No matter how much he panicked and tried to regain his balance, he did not manage.

His tears fell downwards with him, while his eyes stared wide at the blue sky. He outstretched an arm up towards the clouds, praying to not leave them. That pray seemed to be ignored, or even cursed, because the sky began to blacken… and gained a greyish and sickening shade.

The landing was fierce. His heart skipped a beat, his breath ended short in pained gasps, all his being shook when he crashed onto hard ground. He collided against multiple uneven rocks, which brushed his skin and made him roll; none ended his fall.

His rush ended at last. He crumbled down, motionless on the ground.

His mind pounded… His vision was foggy.

No. It was not his vision anymore. There was a dense darkness around him. A void of blackness, which he could swear he could touch with his fingers. He found himself between sharp rocks in the dark. None had torn him apart, by mere luck.

He tried to stand. He tried to move his wings. However, nothing but his arms and legs moved.

Some trembling whimpers escaped him when he leaned weakly onto his elbows; his eyes shed more tears, and then clouded. He would have kept on staring in shock at his shoulders, not able to see his feathers; but instead he turned his head slowly, because someone was standing near.

Two red eyes were fixed on him. There were golden flickers behind them. The feline’s tails were raised tall while she glared at him with hate, with his wings in her hold. He did not even dare to speak when she turned… and stole them away. She began to walk away, to fade into the dark, with his wings.

He tried. He really tried to reach for them; he dared raise a hand as a silent plea, before she could disappear with them. But he only managed to make a tail dash down onto him. He screamed when he was grabbed by it and pinned against a rock, in just a second. The lynx leaned closer to him, and when he showed his fangs near his eyes, he was only able to raise his hands in a fearful stance. He could not move against the rock behind him, or free himself from the grip of the tail. And because of that, he was unable to do anything when the demon growled deeply. He heard the deep growl all too clearly; it warned him to not fight, speak up, or follow them. With just a glare, he was told to give up.

And so he did. He cried, because he had no chance to even struggle. He only tried to not crumble when the tail let him go. All the tails flowed away and faded with her, until he was alone in the dark. He let himself fall onto his knees, because he could not see them anymore in the shadows. He could not see part of himself anymore either.

He tried to call. He tried to beg for them to give them back. He needed them back. But no sound came out from his mouth.

Why can’t I speak?…

He raised a hand to his neck slowly, when he felt a slight pressure against it. He took a shaky breath… knowing it could be last one he would be allowed. He closed his eyes with a slight gulp, just as he discerned the shadows at his feet. Those shadows were the silhouettes of two big wings, which were opening slowly over him. He only felt resignation, grief, as he realized there was a predator near him. One he could not overpower like his brothers could.

He had no will, but he still feared. His whole frame trembled, because two claws lied slowly onto his hair and shoulder. His mind began to ask, to no one but himself.

Why did I have to fall to die? Why did fate bestow this to me? How am I serving the world with this? What legacy will I leave by being killed?

He could feel the cold breath on his neck.

Closer, near, and soon enough-

He flinched and trembled when a loud growl echoed, followed by an agonized one. He shivered, because a corpse fell at his side on the humid ground with a loud thud. The black fur of the beast trembled in small jolts; the bat died after letting out a choked snarl. And he, he could only stare down at it while the cold faded from his skin.

He leaned slowly, to look over his shoulder, because an even bigger shadow was looming over him. And it was not from the rocks around him. There were two sharp violet glints… Two clawed fists were cracked angrily, by the tall demon who was glaring down at him.

He let out his breath with fright. His body was fast to react. The adrenaline allowed him to move, to try to crawl away from said demon. He moved, but he knew he would not go far. Nor manage to run. He would not escape, not when Uriel took a slow but huge step closer, with every small move he made to get away. He let out a choked gasp when his tail dashed forward and onto him. He had to slam his hands on it when it tangled around his neck. His demon pulled him up, and let him hang. His feet began to writhe, barely able to brush the humid ground.

“U-uriel…”

The name did not get any reaction from the devil. His violet eyes seemed ghostly in the dark; he could barely be seen with those dark clothes of his. He was giving him a look full of wonder… and hate.

Not only that. He was bound. He was dangling, wheezing for air, while those sharp eyes looked him up and down, analyzed him… To end up giving him a glare that made every inch of his skin shiver. His blood ran cold, because he had seen such glare before.

“N-no-” His fangs seemed to sharpen. His horns showed more when his head bowed down. His expression darkened. His claws moved subtly. “No…!”

He began to trash and struggle. He began to kick in the air, because he was seeing the same devil that he saw in that orb: a huge demon, feral, powerful and full of bloodlust. It did not matter if he did not look as gruesome as others, his familiar human traits only made him more terrifying. He could hide how brutal he could turn. He was a true demon.

He was the one; the one he knew would kill him when he was chosen. There was no reason in his violet eyes. There was nothing but blind instinct and flaming rage. He was looking down at him in trance, a trance that told too much… It only revealed his only wish, catch his prey. An angel. His angel. Him.

His devil was unfazed by the desperate kicks he was giving against his chest. He was not letting go, no matter how hard he hit his hands on his tail. He ignored his choked screams as well.

“Don’t!” He did not want to die, not like that. “L-let me go!”

Uriel leaned closer. The tail was pressuring around his neck, but it was not strangling him. He was short of breath, but not suffocating. He shut his eyes closed, because he saw how his demon showed his fangs, how he raised his claws towards him. One thought was clear, and terrifying; he would not kill him… not right away.

“No please! Please, Uriel!”

He finally felt those claws on him.

“Alexis…”

He heard that whisper, he felt those nails; he tried to beg before he would bleed.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t wish to fall! I didn’t mean to make you hurt! It wasn’t my choice! L-let me go!”

The hold was tightening… He could feel how the claws were grabbing him, how they pulled to move him closer. He could feel flames around him, something warm that would blaze soon, burn him, and leave his flesh red and torn. His name was snarled again, louder. He did not want to see it being named, not between the fangs that would sink into his neck. He did not open his eyes as it echoed.

“Alexis…!”

He shook his head wildly, and screamed with what he thought was his last breath.

“Deus, obsecro te, ne interficiat me! P-please! I don’t want to be devoured!”

“Alexis!”

He wheezed, because a strong shake was given to him. His eyes shot open when he felt those nails move onto his cheek. He panted and stared with terror at those violet eyes. He cowered backwards as much as he could, but he only hit the wall behind him. His hands and frame trembled as he pressed them against the headboard… He tried to brace himself, while his demon gave him a look full of hurt and hesitation.

He will-

One single word echoed in the terrified mind of the angel.

W-wait…

Uriel’s eyes were filled with sorrow; he backed a little away, because Alexis was now struggling to distinguish between dream and reality. His angel seemed to relax a little, his amber eyes lost some of his fear, slowly. He awoke fully; the nightmare faded from his gaze, but it still pounded in his heart and mind.

He had heard Alexis scream in the middle of the night. He had hurried into his room, fearing for him. He could do nothing but go at his side, seeing him suffer a nightmare. It hurt him when he heard his name be screamed with terror.

“Alexis…”

The angel raised a shaky hand to his neck. He looked down hazily, at his own body and the blankets on his lap. There was no tail strangling him. He had no scratches on his skin; the claws were not stabbing and tearing him apart. The bleeding he had felt was only a faint soreness on his back.

Uriel is not…

Alexis gulped and let out multiple tired gasps. He let his body wake; he tried to forget what he saw in his own mind. That nightmare was the most horrifying one he had since…

The demon felt a sting in his heart, because his angel glanced over his shoulder slowly. More tears fell down from his amber eyes, as he stared at his bandages. The loss of his wings had not been a dream.

Uriel’s blood boiled; his soul seemed to twist, because Alexis let out a sob and threw his arms around his own frame and bandages. His angel looked at him tiredly, with apprehension and fear. It made something deep inside him snap; he felt rage and horror by seeing him like this. The demon in him felt bound to the pain of his angel. His heart broke, because of the words he heard him whisper mindlessly.

“…I- I should not be here. You are not…” Alexis clenched his teeth and bowed his head. His voice was loud in between sobs and gasps. “I’m s-sorry.”

Alexis’ eyes were unfocused, but fixed. Fixed on the scar concealed below Uriel’s black robes, which had been a sickening wound. He was staring as well at the cut on his jaw, where one could see his fangs peek. Neither of the scars would disappear, they would remain.

Uriel could not take it any longer. Alexis huffed when two strong claws pulled at him. But not to pierce him, not to harm him, like part of him felt they should. His whole body trembled while those strong arms held him in a heartfelt hug. The candles at the sides of the bed stopped glinting with that unnatural violet color.

It took the angel a while to react to the sudden pull. Soon, he relaxed, and then buried his face onto Uriel’s shoulder. He focused on his own breathing; he just wanted to stop trembling and crying. His words came out all by themselves, without control.

“…I should have not fallen. That orb should have not shined. W-why can’t I stop thinking about it?”

He was chosen to hunt, bring hurt; he had no place in this world. Uriel should have had no reason to spare him; he had the right to end him just for the implications of his presence. He was supposed to be merciless, perhaps a monster; he thought he would be. He still kept picturing him as one, sometimes.

He wasn’t. Nothing was like it should have been. Nothing was black and white, or simple. It was senseless.

His thoughts were unclear; the nightmare was still fresh in his mind. So a claw slowly and carefully lied onto his back in a comforting manner, doubtfully. Uriel closed his eyes with a silent and long sigh… And let his angel cry out his pain, for as long as he needed.

“Perhaps that thing had reasons to reflect me that day, Alexis. I’ve done horrible things” Still, it did not explain why his angel had to suffer for it. “I will never bring you harm again, never again. I wouldn’t be able.”

He knew well what he had dreamed. He could not blame him.

Alexis did not seem to listen; he was still shaken. The thought of his flesh being torn still made him shiver subtly. As much as he hurt for it, he could not run, he could not stand up and leave this place to get away from him… So Uriel just held him, knowing it would help him more than if he left him alone and enclosed. He tried to erase the thought of his malice with caring actions.

It took many hours until the tears stopped, both of theirs. It took a lot of silence to allow the exhausted angel to close his eyes again. And still, he was not able to rest.

He was a monster; for both of them.