“Of all the crazy ideas you’ve had, this is the worst.”

He retorted, not bothering to look back at him.

“Mention a single idea of mine that has been crazier than any of hers.”

Uriel opened his mouth, nail raised. Unable to deny that Ayako was more impulsive and unpredictable, he huffed and resorted to being the voice of reason.

“This one is! Alexis, you can’t be serious!”

His angel was not listening. So Uriel turned to look at Ayako for support. She was sitting with her arms crossed on a chair; she had fallen silent after hearing what Alexis had done in the previous night. Her eyes were full of thought, her mind full of doubt.

Ayako was eyeing Alexis, very carefully. He had packed his stuff into two bags, and now was tying his old sword onto his belt. Last thing he did before she decided to speak, what put on some sturdy boots for travel.

“Do you even have any idea of where to go?”

Alexis huffed while pulling at one boot. After kicking his foot down, he stood again, straightening his clothes and cape. His expression was serious and determined.

“North.”

“And?”

He did not falter under her questioning stare.

“Just north. I will follow that direction, and hope for the best.”

Uriel interjected again, much more worried and disbelieving.

“That’s it? You’re going to go out blindly because and old ugly mural says so? Even if that ancient fortress exists, what do you even expect to find there?! It could only be a messy ruin at this point of time! You’re crazy!”

“Better than nothing, Uriel. Angels have roamed where that murals says. There could be something there, and I want to know.”

“Ok, let’s pretend this makes some sort of sense for a moment. What will you do once you know?!” Alexis sighed, because Uriel grabbed and turned him around, to make him look at him. “What kind of knowledge will satisfy you? What answer can be so compelling, for you to dare go alone into the unknown?”

Alexis shook his head, gently moving his claws away. Not showing the littlest bit of doubt, he moved around his demon, continuing to pack things for a long journey.

“Any answer. Anything that tells me why we’ve suffered like this. I want a meaning.”

“Are we not meaningful enough?”

Alexis blinked at that. Looking again at Uriel, he answered more softly, more caring.

“You are.” He added, carefully. “I need to know why things happen to me, to you, to all of us; that way, I will be able to stop fearing fate. I need to know I won’t bring you any more harm. I don’t know why life keeps giving me tests I can’t understand.”

“Fate does not have anything to do with this, Alexis. This… this is not a riddle sent for you to solve.”

“Maybe it is not. We don’t know. But I want to be sure it is not. The doubt kills me. What if there’s truly a reason for all that happens to me? If I find nothing, I will be sure there is nothing that I can do. I will stop wondering, and I will accept it all. I will be able to leave it behind. But for now… I need to at least try something.”

“You are going to kill yourself out there. This world is much grander than the one you left.”

“I have my sword. I don’t need you to protect me.” He glared, reminding bleakly. “I have not sparred with her for nothing. I know fully well I’m not the best, but I can do well now.”

Ayako interrupted again, warning.

“You have improved these last years, and you could kill almost any demon you cross. But devils are not what worry me. It is people, humans.”

Alexis frowned, worried by the thought of being neared by people, which he would probably cross. He added, still stubborn.

“I will not near any towns or cities.”

“Then you will starve yourself and prolong even more this silly journey of yours.” Uriel whipped his tail, growing angrier with each second. “Less resources and hints of where to head, lost in the woods or worse. You will spend ages looking, threatened by all that surrounds you.”

“I have a lot of time to spare. I don’t age.” He moved and faced Uriel, who was blocking the door of his room. “I will be back, just let me go.”

“I’m not letting you.” He pleaded, reasoning against his determination. “You don’t age, but they do. If you go alone, you will most probably never find that place. You would be away for more than a year before you surrender… and they would have grown older. You will push behind what you most care about, just because you think there’s something out there that can clear some stupid doubts of yours.”

“You may be right in that… but my doubts are not stupid. I do not do this for me, but for her. I have all the right to feel this way.”

Both glared at each other. One wanted to push his way, the other wanted to make use of a cell.

Ayako had been neutral all this time… and she still was. She stood from the chair, and slowly walked towards them both. To their surprise, she walked around them, asking them one simple thing.

“Wait here.”

They both blinked, seeing her walk away through the corridor, heading away towards her office.

When she came back into the room, she did with a dusty map, which she blew at to clean it from dust. After laying the big map on a table, she slammed her palms on it, glaring at its illustration.

“If you are going to leave, you can’t just go north and pray for luck. I can’t let you be that stupid.”

Uriel paled, seeing Alexis near and grow interested in what she was showing. A very detailed map, of the country they lived in, and the neighboring one. Made of multiple regions, both shared a border past a nearby northern town. Ayako pointed at said town, following with her finger a path that coursed their territory.

“Here, if you follow this path, and then go slightly west, you’ll find this town. Keep going, and you’ll find the border. The map only shows part of the northern nation, but you can see there’s a big city, Feiren. It’s a huge city, full of commerce, surrounded by smaller towns in the west, because of the coast. The map ends not shortly after Feiren, because it’s a very cold area, regions covered in snow and mountains. There are towns and villages there, but isolated and rarely connected, like our region was. If that mural was to be trusted, you should seek snow and mountains.”

Suddenly, two claws snatched the map away, harshly. Uriel glared at them both, feeling dread.

“I can’t believe you are listening to his delusions, Ayako. How can you even entertain the idea of him abandoning us all behind? He could end up dead, dammit! It’s another whole country, not exactly friendly with foreigners!”

“I’m not letting him go alone, Uriel.” With her firm answer, he felt relief, while Alexis glared. Their expressions exchanged when she added next. “We are going too.”

“What?!”

Uriel’s yell shook the manor. If he had been worried before of being heard by the teens, now he was more, and all because of himself. Alexis was the one to ask, not liking the idea of forcing her to act.

“Aya, I can do this alone. You don’t have to leave them as well.”

Ayako shook her head. She retrieved the map from Uriel’s shocked claws and began to explain, with a hint of curiosity in her eyes.

“You can’t go alone, I agree with Uriel in that. I also don’t like the idea of any of us leaving our girls alone. However, I think this is something that won’t leave your mind. You don’t tend to get this adamant. I know I won’t be able to change your mind this time. If that place really exists, it probably holds a lot of angelic wisdom. Those mountains have not been explored a lot; it’s a risky place to travel in. If I go with you, I will be able to protect you, and shorten the journey by a lot. A month maximum… I have traveled a lot, and I know my way better than anyone. My aid will be essential in this expedition of yours, we will be back sooner. The girls can handle that, even if I know they won’t like it. Besides…” Ayako pointed at Uriel, sympathetically. “He will make sure the girls are alright, and he won’t have to worry. It will be just a month; we’ll come back if we don’t find anything.”

Uriel was bewildered, he was trembling. He managed a few words, wishing he was dreaming.

“You can’t just leave! N-not without me! I could not sleep knowing you could be in danger!”

Ayako and Alexis exchanged looks, noting the paleness on Uriel’s face.

“Then… go grab your things and follow.”

“Come with us if you’re so worried about our safety.”

Uriel shook his head, begging to wake up, to think of anything that would turn this situation around.

“The girls will be alone. Can’t you think of them?”

Ayako knew Aurora and Ariel. They could handle the manor in their absence. And this… this journey could help both her and Alexis. Any document could hold advanced wisdom, ways in which she could aid wounds. She dreamed of the day in which she could rid Uriel of his heartache, or free Alexis of his fear of being smelled by demons. She was now as hopeful as Alexis was, much to Uriel’s horror.

“Uri… it will only be a while. Lykaios has never failed to watch over them.”

Ayako stepped aside, because Alexis laid a hand on her shoulder and took her place near Uriel.

“I hate to leave; I really do, Uriel. I know that if I leave I will not be the best of fathers. But this is eating me inside out. I can’t stay and let it consume me. I must do something, and then apologize if it’s for nothing. This could help her feel she belongs in this world, if I understand myself.” Alexis promised, hand on his heart, eyes honest. “I swear, I’ll say sorry; to you, to them, to all of you. But only when I’m sure, when I know I can’t do anything to keep back my shame and doubt. So, please, let me go.”

Uriel felt cornered. Both of them were looking up at him, hopefully. They were not moving; Alexis seemed to have lessened his stubbornness, and Ayako would not go without his agreement. They both were waiting for him, to make a choice, if to stay and let them go, or follow them and aid them. They did not want to hurt him. In their blue and amber eyes, it was obvious that there was care for the girls, concern… but they trusted it would only be a short-lived departure, and that they would return to them soon.

Bound to a choice, he laid a hand on his chest, pondering.

When he answered, he still felt reluctant.

————

The two watched with doubt.

Rucksacks full of food, clothes packed into bags, waterskins full of water, and Ayakos’ weapons, all was being carried outside. They were tying it all onto the saddles of two horses, which the three of them would mount. They were leaving, and no matter how much they explained to them, they still felt doubtful.

Ariel asked again, looking up to his sad violet eyes.

“I don’t get it. What kind of market does that big city have, for it to be better than the one we usually visit?”

Uriel hated to lie, but he had to. Giving Ariel and Aurora an apologetic smile, he sighed, saying only half of the truth.

“That city has a lot of commerce, Ariel. We will go there, sell some materials, and buy a new cart and horse.” He added a fact that he knew would excuse his lie even better, because Ariel knew the art of trade. “Alexis thought of selling his old armor; we will only find a good buyer there, after we find an appraiser. With that gold, we will come back with many things, which the nomads have never offered.”

Aurora seemed to frown, at the thought that her father had surrendered something he kept locked tight in a chest, surely valued.

“Do we really have to trade there? What can they possibly have that we need?”

Uriel answered, noticing her reluctance to such bargain. The girls never had asked for much or any luxuries.

“Wouldn’t you like to see new kinds of plants in our garden? They will surely sell unusual seeds. What about some new vases or paintings? Maybe some cattle?” They both frowned, understanding that those things would be useful to their parents. They knew Uriel was trying to cheer them up. “Combs, beautiful clothes… Anything you ask we will bring.”

They shook their heads with a sad smile, unable to think of what they would want more than not part with them. Still, they did not dare protest, knowing they were leaving for a good reason, surely.

As they looked at the big bags tied on the horses, they finally heard the door of the forge open. Ariel blinked and looked to it, not having seen it open for hours. Alexis had finally gotten out, holding something. He looked at her, and then handed her Abiel, who he had spent a few minutes with alone. His amber eyes were full of tiredness, and she swore there was shame when he glanced at hers.

“We will be back soon. Please, take care of him while I’m gone.”

With that, he looked away. Aurora did not know what to feel, as he did not seem to want to look at her like he did to Ariel. She did not have time to ask him why he was selling his old armor, because he walked away. His head was low while he climbed onto one of the horses. Ayako finished tying things onto a saddle, and then turned to look at them. As she smiled kindly, she gave them a trustful look, proud of them.

“I am sure you will manage without us.”

Ariel nodded, not without a frown.

“I will try, mom. You’ve taught me how.”

“We know how to deal with the manor.” Aurora’s tone was serious, not cheerful at all. “We are more worried about you.”

Ayako smiled, noting how Aurora looked at Alexis, who had already moved slightly out the gates, too troubled to say goodbye.

With one last grasp at their claws, she brushed her head against her daughters’, warning playfully.

“Try to not bother Lykaios much, okay? He gets cranky when he is woken up.”

They only nodded, letting go of her hands reluctantly. Ayako moved away, and then mounted Alexis’ horse, holding on behind him. Uriel had mounted the other one, and was the one who stayed behind to say the saddest farewell.

“I promise I will make it up to you, girls.” He looked away and said the next words warmly. “You have always been remarkable. You will be okay, right?”

Ariel and Aurora exchanged looks. Knowing that Uriel would not move without an answer, they finally whispered timidly.

“We will be fine.”

“But come back soon.”

He sighed, glancing away with an expression they found strange. He did not say anything else, like if he struggled to reply to their request. Uriel hit the reigns and followed Ayako and Alexis through the gates, looking back longingly.

Aurora decided to look at Ariel, once they couldn’t see them ahead. They were both crestfallen.

“They said a month…”

Both wondered, as they saw the three of them leave their home. The three of them at once, for the first time since forever. The angel had never left the security of the woods, not even for the southern village. That sight was strange and worrying. Yet they had not questioned it, confused by the determination Alexis had shown.

“That place must be a real something. I wonder how far it is, what roads they will take.”

They were looking at the distance when a voice joined them.

“They will be gone for a while. A long while in which I hope you’ll behave.” They both glared back with frowns, not enjoying his remarks. “You both are impulsive, just like them.”

Their eyes did not meet his red ones. They looked away tiredly.